A Journey of Growth and Self-Awareness
Hey, Resilientites! I’m Naketa Ross, and I’m thrilled to welcome you to the Resilient Life blog, where we dive deep into the transformative power of resilience. Whether you're here for the first time or you've been with us for a while, you're in the right place to discover the tools and insights that will help you build a stronger, more resilient life. My purpose is simple: to guide you toward living your best life by empowering you with the strategies and mindset shifts needed to connect with and enhance your resilience. Let’s embark on this journey together—because you’re stronger than you think, and your best life is within reach.
This week, we had the privilege of deep-dive conversations with Miya, a young professional working at Lockheed Martin as an engineer specialist aide. Miya's journey towards understanding resilience was not only inspiring but deeply relatable. She shared her thoughts on what resilience means and her personal journey of learning how to embody it in her life.
Miya beautifully defined resilience as "the ability to overcome traumas and to be strong." But what stood out most was her addition to the definition: being happy with who you are. For Miya, resilience isn’t just about pushing through tough times or always being on top of things—it’s also about finding contentment within oneself, even when life isn’t perfect. I loved this perspective, and it made me reflect on how resilience is often viewed through the lens of achievement when, in reality, it’s about learning to live authentically and finding peace within.
Embracing Imperfection on the Path to Resilience
When asked if she considered herself resilient, Miya’s answer was honest and heartfelt. She admitted that for a long time, she didn’t see herself as resilient. Like many of us, she once believed resilience was synonymous with having a perfect life or always being happy. But as she’s grown, she’s realized that resilience is not about perfection or constant happiness. It’s about continuing to try, even when things are difficult. “I’m not happy every day, and I don’t get everything right,” Miya said, “but I’m still resilient.”
Her story highlights a crucial point: resilience doesn’t mean being immune to hardship or sadness. It’s about embracing the fact that life comes with challenges and continuing to move forward, no matter how small the steps may be. As Miya shared, even simple actions like getting out of bed or smiling at someone can be acts of resilience. Those small victories matter, and they’re worth celebrating.
The Importance of Small Steps
One of the biggest misconceptions about resilience, as Miya pointed out, is that it has to be grand or bold. However, she reminded us that resilience often lies in the little things—those small actions that may seem insignificant but make a huge difference. “Even if you just smile at five people today,” she said, “that’s resilience.”
For anyone struggling to connect with their own resilience, Miya’s advice is powerful: just try. Whether it’s finding something that brings you joy, like spending time with loved ones or taking up a hobby like painting, the key is to keep trying. Resilience, after all, is a journey, not a destination.
Discovering Happiness Through Vulnerability
Miya’s vulnerability in admitting that she hadn’t always known what made her happy was deeply relatable. So many of us go through life on autopilot, not fully aware of our own needs or desires. As Miya shared, she hadn’t felt happy for a long time and was still on a journey to discover what truly brings her joy. Spending time with her dog, family, and finding simple pleasures like going to the movies are some of the things that make her happy, but she’s still exploring, still growing.
Her honesty about the struggle to identify happiness is a reminder that self-discovery is a continual process. What makes us happy can evolve over time, and that’s okay. What matters is that we take the time to pause, reflect, and make room for new experiences that bring us joy.
Breaking Free from Autopilot
Another profound part of Miya’s story was her realization that she had been living life on autopilot. She described autopilot as "clocking in and out of life, going through the motions without any real awareness or joy." It was a powerful analogy that many can relate to—living life as if it’s a routine job, without truly engaging with it.
Miya shared how her mother helped her recognize this pattern and encouraged her to step off autopilot. Her journey involved making some big changes, such as moving to a new state and leaving the military, all in an effort to reconnect with her life and her sense of self. Her advice for anyone feeling similarly stuck? Start by acknowledging it. Then take small steps to break free, whether that’s finding moments of joy or simply being more present in your day-to-day life.
Learning to Celebrate Ourselves
A key takeaway from my conversation with Miya was the importance of learning to celebrate ourselves. We’re not always taught how to do this, and as Miya mentioned, she’s still learning. Whether it’s treating herself to a massage, getting her nails done, or going on a date, she’s finding small ways to celebrate her own resilience and growth.
Miya also highlighted that celebrating ourselves is an evolving process. As we discover what makes us happy, we learn new ways to honor and appreciate our efforts. It’s not always about grand gestures; sometimes, it’s the little things that matter most.
Final Thoughts: Forgiving Ourselves and Moving Forward
As the conversation came to a close, we touched on an essential aspect of personal growth: self-forgiveness. Miya admitted that while she doesn’t regret her past, she still struggles with fully forgiving herself. This is something many of us can relate to. Holding on to past mistakes can hinder our ability to move forward and be fully present in our lives.
Miya’s reflection on the importance of self-forgiveness was a powerful reminder that we all need to give ourselves grace. Without it, we limit our capacity to grow, to build healthier relationships, and to fully embrace life. Learning to forgive ourselves is essential for both personal happiness and for extending compassion to others.
I want to leave you with Miya’s final words: “If I forgave myself, I could be happier, and I could feel like I deserve good things.” Her journey of resilience is an ongoing one, and it’s a reminder to all of us that resilience isn’t about having everything figured out—it’s about continuing to try, to grow, and to live with intention.
If you're reading this and feel stuck or unsure of your own resilience, remember that you are already resilient because you’re here, reading this. You’ve made it through 100% of your hardest days, and that’s something worth celebrating.
Thank you, Miya, for sharing your story and reminding us all that resilience is found in the journey, not the destination.
Resilientites, thank you for joining me on this journey. This blog post provides a glimpse into each episode, offering inspiration, actionable insights and practical advice on incorporating resilience into your daily life. Whether you're a regular listener or new to the podcast, I hope this message resonates with you and helps you live your best life. Please spread the love by liking, subscribing, and sharing (on social media) with someone who might need a little resilience boost. Follow “Resilient Life®” on your favorite podcast platform and YouTube at ResilientLifePodcastTM.