Experience True Love and Support: How Community Can Change Everything!

[00:00:03] You are listening to Resilient Life, the podcast where we explore the power of resiliency.

[00:00:10] I'm Nikita Ross. It is my hope that listening to this podcast will give you the tools to connect with and increase your resiliency.

[00:00:20] So join me on this adventure of self-discovery and self-love.

[00:00:29] Hey Resilientites, thank you for joining me for another episode of Resilient Life.

[00:00:34] Today I have a wonderful guest, Darius, who happens to also be my barber.

[00:00:42] But I will let him tell more about himself, his story. Tell us everything we need to know about you, Brother Darius.

[00:00:49] Hi, I'm Brother Darius. I was born and raised in Davenport, Iowa.

[00:00:54] I went to college at Iowa State University for a year before I transferred to school out here in Phoenix, Arizona, where I currently reside.

[00:01:03] Graduated in 2020, started my business, which is the barber business, soon thereafter.

[00:01:10] In between all of that time, I did a lot of work in the community, establishing my reputation as Brother Darius rather than just Darius.

[00:01:19] And yeah, so now I run Studio 32 in downtown Tempe, Arizona, where I met Miss Ross.

[00:01:25] Thank you so much for being here. Brother Darius, how you define resilience?

[00:01:29] I would define resilience as a quality of a person, particularly the ability to resist against pressure, to stand firm, and to adapt to change without compromise or conforming to whatever the environmental challenges might want you to conform to.

[00:01:53] So being true to your values. But first, you have to know who you are in order to not conform. Would you agree with that?

[00:02:00] Yeah, I would agree with that.

[00:02:01] How do you get there?

[00:02:02] Knowledge itself, I think, really comes from isolation and going through very tough circumstances and what we would call trials and tribulations in spiritual terms.

[00:02:15] And so what it does is it reveals to you your character and it will reveal to you areas for improvement.

[00:02:22] So in some situations, you know, you might find that you make a decision.

[00:02:27] That decision can reveal to you whether or not it makes you or breaks you based off the outcome.

[00:02:35] And yeah, it informs you on where to move from there.

[00:02:37] I like that. So is this something that people just automatically know how to do to get into that solitude and learn about how to get in a place where a decision can either make you or break you?

[00:02:50] Or is this something you have to learn and practice?

[00:02:52] I would say for the most part, it does come natural, but it might express itself in different forms depending on the person.

[00:03:00] So for me, I would say I was naturally an introvert growing up.

[00:03:04] So it was easy for me to spend a lot of time with myself, like the bookshelf behind me, for example, when I was young, I had a bookshelf in my room.

[00:03:13] It never really dawned on to me the importance of that until I got older.

[00:03:18] But that might also have contributed to me being able to spend a significant amount of time with myself as an adult, which could have turned into more of an introspective personality type.

[00:03:31] Whereas with some people, they might want to be around social groups and communities to help to tap into what it is that we call knowledge itself and that identity that could give them the access to the resilience that we're talking about.

[00:03:48] I like that. I think when you say that, it makes me think of a third one that we're not covering.

[00:03:54] So there's that I enjoy or I don't mind being alone, which can lead to introspection, to use your word.

[00:04:02] Or I can get that knowledge from being around other people.

[00:04:05] But there are times and individuals who are alone and they still don't learn or tap into the introspectiveness of that themselves.

[00:04:15] Or there are people who hang out with others and they still don't naturally grow and become more resilient.

[00:04:23] So I feel like there is a piece still missing there of what is that?

[00:04:30] Because there are people who do both of those things that we talked about, but still they're not necessarily growing, not judging, but they're not doing that introspective piece.

[00:04:39] They're not doing that self-awareness. They're not recognizing the lessons from, to use your words, trial and tribulations.

[00:04:46] They're just sometimes they're like, oh, I keep going through trials and tribulations.

[00:04:50] My life sucks. But not learning the lessons from them or growing.

[00:04:54] Does that make sense? So what do you think that missing piece is?

[00:04:57] I think that missing piece is mentorship.

[00:05:00] Okay.

[00:05:00] Simply put, I think, yes, mentorship is kind of a cheat code in a sense, because it helps to bridge the gap between what you know and what you don't know that you don't know.

[00:05:12] And so a mentor is someone who coaches someone to get across something that some type of terrain or through a situation that they have never encountered before.

[00:05:24] Despite their efforts, we all fall short.

[00:05:28] And so mentorship, again, helps to bridge that gap.

[00:05:31] Usually it's through people's mistakes that other people can can learn.

[00:05:36] There's a popular phrase that I like to apply to my life.

[00:05:39] It says that a smart man learns from the from their own mistakes, but a wise man learns from the mistakes of others.

[00:05:48] And so mentors typically.

[00:05:50] Wow, I like that.

[00:05:50] Yeah. So mentors typically will give insights as to mistakes that they've made along the path.

[00:05:57] So that way it informs the younger person or the inexperienced person, person who's experienced in trouble, how to avoid those same mistakes.

[00:06:09] And we'll make our own mistakes, but, you know, we won't avoid the same mistakes as possible.

[00:06:14] Yeah. So I'm thinking of everyone I know, and I don't know any of them to have a mentor.

[00:06:21] What either seeking this question one or two ways, how does one get a mentor or are there other ways to become resilient and get that self introspection and that learning from trials and tribulation?

[00:06:34] I don't know if you can make it happen without mentorship in some form or fashion.

[00:06:40] Like nowadays, you have virtual mentorship.

[00:06:43] You have people who are mentors who don't even realize that they're mentors.

[00:06:46] You have people who, of course, explicitly state, hey, I'm doing a mentorship program, a coaching program or something of that sort.

[00:06:55] But I personally feel that it's essential to being successful because nine times out of 10, I mean, there's been people who have gone where we want to go, who have gone further than where we want to go with even less than what we started off with.

[00:07:10] When we think, you know, we have it tough, then, you know, we can look at examples.

[00:07:15] And those examples is who are referred to as mentors.

[00:07:18] And this is why I feel like it wouldn't be possible to do those things without some form of mentorship.

[00:07:24] I'm also reminded of a quote from, if I'm not mistaken, Sir Isaac Newton, who's like one of the godfathers of physics.

[00:07:32] And he says that if I appear large or larger than life, it's because I stand on the shoulders of giants who basically come before me.

[00:07:40] So I think, yeah, mentorship is important.

[00:07:44] It's one of the biggest things that I stress when I speak with people.

[00:07:48] You know, we have debates about sports and stuff like that.

[00:07:51] People want to, I call them prisoners of the moment.

[00:07:54] Sometimes I'm a prisoner of the moment, too.

[00:07:57] You know, we look at recent examples, say in sports or politics or whatever the case might be.

[00:08:03] But if you don't tap into the history, the people who are the trailblazers and pave the way for that person today that we get to enjoy and put on that pedestal, then I think we're actually doing ourselves a disservice.

[00:08:17] I think that's really good.

[00:08:18] How do we encourage more people to seek mentorship or to mentor others?

[00:08:26] I think that we encourage people first and foremost to seek mentorship by reinforcing or introducing the value of education, because education will give a person disposition that is required for you to have a mentor.

[00:08:45] Right. Because it doesn't matter how much a person wants to teach you.

[00:08:49] If the student doesn't want to be taught, then the message wouldn't be received.

[00:08:53] And so we have to reinstill the importance of education, which, again, has a humility attached to it, because in order for you to trust that somebody is going to give you some sound advice, you have to humble yourself to hear that out.

[00:09:12] You know, you're a student. You're not the teacher. You don't know as much as the teacher.

[00:09:16] Another thing that I think we can reintroduce into the community that would also encourage more mentorship is the old value of, I would say, the old adage of respecting your elders.

[00:09:29] Like my grandmother, she taught us that, you know, be very important to respect your elders, partially due to the fact that they just have more life experience, but mostly due to the fact that the wisdom that they recruit throughout the life experience can help us learn and grow as well.

[00:09:44] So that in and of itself is a form of mentorship.

[00:09:48] You know, when you have an uncle, auntie, grandmother, grandfather, elder in the church or, you know, any other kind of religious organization you might be a part of or someone senior lead at your workplace, that's a form of mentorship.

[00:10:04] But again, it takes a humble person to be able to identify that and not be driven with ego, you know, or pride.

[00:10:12] Yeah. Yeah, for sure. For sure.

[00:10:15] Brother Darius, what made you smile today?

[00:10:18] I haven't had my coffee.

[00:10:20] I would say coffee.

[00:10:25] But I think because it's hoodie season right now, hoodie season is definitely something that I wake up and look forward to.

[00:10:33] I have a lot to do today.

[00:10:35] That's something that I can smile about because I like to do stuff.

[00:10:40] I like to be productive.

[00:10:42] I don't like idle time.

[00:10:44] You know, I've always been one who struggled with that.

[00:10:47] So this is why that isolation is so important for me.

[00:10:50] That's actually something I had to conquer.

[00:10:52] I'm in, I'm healthy.

[00:10:53] I'm happy.

[00:10:55] You know, everything in life is going well.

[00:10:57] So I'm trying to enjoy it, you know, and be present.

[00:11:02] So that's what makes me smile today.

[00:11:03] How do you celebrate yourself?

[00:11:04] How do I celebrate myself?

[00:11:06] I don't celebrate myself in a traditional way.

[00:11:09] Right.

[00:11:10] So I don't like really enjoy parties and birthday cakes, you know, taking me out to fancy dinners and stuff like that.

[00:11:20] I think celebrating myself looks like doing for myself what my mother wasn't able to do for me when I was a kid.

[00:11:30] You know, it also looks like doing for others what I never thought possible when I was a kid that I would be able to do for others too.

[00:11:37] You know, so exceeding my own expectations.

[00:11:39] It's like every day is an expression of me celebrating myself, you know, just my existence.

[00:11:47] I'm content.

[00:11:48] That's a beautiful answer.

[00:11:49] I love that.

[00:11:50] That's really awesome.

[00:11:51] Okay.

[00:11:52] You're looking in the mirror.

[00:11:53] You're getting ready to start your day.

[00:11:55] You either need to get pumped up because you're tired or you are feeling yourself.

[00:12:00] What's the theme song that pops into your head?

[00:12:02] What's your theme song?

[00:12:04] My theme song, it'd have to be a song by Nas for sure.

[00:12:07] Okay.

[00:12:07] So you have two come to mind.

[00:12:10] One is I Can, and it kind of takes me back to being like a middle school age or elementary school age kid where before life does what life does to some of us,

[00:12:20] we still believe that we can do everything and anything in the world and that nothing could stop us, you know, make us deviate from our path.

[00:12:27] But that one, that song is called I Can.

[00:12:30] And in that he talks about a little bit into history.

[00:12:33] He talks about how important it is to be adamant at whatever it is that you put your mind to because nothing comes overnight.

[00:12:40] He talks about, yeah, he gets us to stuff that typically isn't covered in hip hop, you know, not just history, but even deeper than that, he gets into like ancient Egyptology, restoring us back to our roots.

[00:12:57] You know, he tells us how some of the first colleges and universities were built in Timbuktu and how, you know, Egypt, you know, Egypt, they built pyramids that even scientists today really can't explain with certainty the complexities type of technology that could have, that they could have used to make such longstanding wonders.

[00:13:19] Right. So all that to say that, you know, whatever you put your mind to, you can do it.

[00:13:25] So that's what I would say would be like my life's theme song.

[00:13:28] Tell me this. How is your self-talk? Are you challenging negative thoughts?

[00:13:34] Oh, yes. Yeah, I have to challenge negative thoughts.

[00:13:37] So this is I think it's a biblical teaching, but it talks about how we should take no thought captive, how we should be very careful about the types of thoughts that come in and out of our minds on a day to day basis, what we consume via social media, via music.

[00:13:54] So, yeah, self-talk is for me mostly positive. I'll say that self-talk gets negative when I'm trying to tap into that element because I don't know if it's healthy to totally get rid of it.

[00:14:08] But like if I'm in the boxing gym, beating up a boxing bag or thinking about, you know, ways that I can destroy an opponent, I might have to spar.

[00:14:16] So I'm listening to some negative self-talk, you know, music. I might have some, you know, very dark thoughts.

[00:14:22] What would you have for a person who doesn't find it as easy as you do to challenge those negative thoughts?

[00:14:28] I would say start off with exercise.

[00:14:30] OK, physical exercise, physical and spiritual exercise.

[00:14:34] Like for me, what helped a lot was scripture first and foremost.

[00:14:39] But aside from that, I find that every time that I was, again, in some type of a rut, it was because I wasn't active enough.

[00:14:48] I wasn't doing something to keep me busy and to distract me from that negative self-talk.

[00:14:55] So, you know, what I would do and what I would encourage others to do is go go play some type of sport.

[00:15:01] Go get into some type of, say, yoga and meditation.

[00:15:04] Go get involved in some small group learning activity about whatever it is that you're interested in.

[00:15:10] But that's where community is important.

[00:15:13] That's where community is essential.

[00:15:14] Because what you again, what you can't necessarily do for yourself, you know, others that you can align yourself with who might be going through the same thing would rub off on you.

[00:15:23] And you find solace in that, too.

[00:15:26] So I would say, in short, for people who struggle with negative self-talk, definitely find a group of people who might be going through the same things as you.

[00:15:35] I like that.

[00:15:36] What are you most proud of?

[00:15:37] I'm most proud of making my mom proud.

[00:15:40] That's what I would say.

[00:15:42] I'm most proud of exceeding my mom's expectations.

[00:15:45] Because my mom was someone who always instilled in me, like, she saw things in me that I didn't see in myself until I got older.

[00:15:53] So she would say, Darius, you know you're a natural born leader, right?

[00:15:56] Darius, you know when I dropped you off at elementary school, you know, and such and such and so and so was leading the group.

[00:16:03] You know, I noticed after a couple weeks, you would be the one leading the group, right?

[00:16:07] And so there would be times when I would get in trouble.

[00:16:10] And then they would imply that maybe it was because I was, you know, troubled.

[00:16:15] Didn't have a father in the home and all this other stuff.

[00:16:17] But my mom said, no, he's just so smart that once he gets finished with his work, he has nothing else to do.

[00:16:25] So you see how easily, like, it could have been misinterpreted that my behavior was something that was negative.

[00:16:32] My mother instilled or took more of a positive approach.

[00:16:35] She believed in me and saw things in me that I didn't see in me.

[00:16:38] Obviously, I was young enough that I wouldn't be able to see in myself.

[00:16:40] So knowing that her expectation of me was already high, and then I exceeded that, and I continued to do so, that's what makes me the most proud.

[00:16:51] So there's a...

[00:16:52] That's awesome.

[00:16:52] Yeah, I want to finish with one quote, right?

[00:16:55] So when I was studying Islam, one of the Islamic quotes that I learned about is that paradise lies at the feet of your mother.

[00:17:02] And so mothers are very, very important in our faith, you know.

[00:17:07] And I found that every time I do something that would make my mom happy, it would actually, like, better serve me.

[00:17:14] It's really...

[00:17:15] It's never going to hurt me to make my mom happy.

[00:17:18] That's really beautiful.

[00:17:19] I love that.

[00:17:20] Have you forgiven yourself for your past mistakes?

[00:17:23] Part one.

[00:17:24] Part two.

[00:17:25] Is it important or does it matter to do so?

[00:17:28] Part one, yes, I have forgiven myself of my mistakes.

[00:17:32] But not without honest critique, accountability, and then taking inventory of my actions moving forward, you know, as a way to kind of screen myself and avoid those same mistakes.

[00:17:49] And also not without healthy coping mechanisms for making mistakes or avoiding making the same decisions that led to those mistakes as I did before.

[00:17:58] So it's a yes, but.

[00:18:00] And then the second part is, is it important?

[00:18:05] Absolutely.

[00:18:06] It's probably the most important skill you can learn in life, to be honest with you.

[00:18:11] Because I think forgiveness, number one, is such an abstract concept because it's in our nature in many cases to retaliate.

[00:18:21] Or if we don't retaliate towards the person who committed the wrong to us, we implode, you know.

[00:18:28] And so we retaliate towards ourselves, in a sense.

[00:18:31] We kind of blame ourselves for the things that go on in the environment around us, even though they're outside of our control.

[00:18:39] So, you know, forgiveness is, number one, important.

[00:18:43] Now, forgiveness of self is, again, even more important because a lot of things in society will teach us the opposite, especially as people of color.

[00:18:54] And that we're supposed to be super hard on ourselves, which I believe we should be.

[00:19:00] But at some point, we have to address the frailties in our own egos, in our own psyches.

[00:19:08] You know, we're finite.

[00:19:09] And yeah, so, you know, one of the most powerful things I say I learned was to forgive myself and that it was okay to do so without necessarily feeling like you're a hypocrite for making those mistakes, knowing better.

[00:19:24] As long as, again, you have a clear, charted way forward to avoid making that same mistake.

[00:19:31] So, yeah.

[00:19:32] So, I really enjoy that answer.

[00:19:34] My thoughts to add on to that are, I think sometimes we are.

[00:19:39] As humans, and especially people of color, too hard on ourselves and that we don't necessarily need to be.

[00:19:45] I think at some point we confuse accountability with being hard on ourselves.

[00:19:50] So, we can be accountable for our actions and say, hey, I can do this differently or better next time and not beat ourselves up.

[00:19:58] Because that doesn't help us grow.

[00:20:00] That doesn't help us learn when we beat ourselves up.

[00:20:02] So, I don't, I personally don't think we necessarily need to be hard on ourselves.

[00:20:06] I think we need to be accountable for our actions, our thoughts, our behaviors.

[00:20:10] Those things are words, but not necessarily be hard on ourselves.

[00:20:14] Because when we are being accountable, then we are able to, as you said earlier in the discussion, you know, grow and learn from those things and have that introspection that is so important.

[00:20:24] So, I agree with you.

[00:20:26] That's just my little caveat about the difference between being hard on yourself and being accountable.

[00:20:32] And accountability, yes.

[00:20:33] Hard on yourself, not so much.

[00:20:35] It's not healthy.

[00:20:36] It doesn't build up your self-esteem to be hard on yourself.

[00:20:39] It's not productive.

[00:20:40] And we're all human.

[00:20:42] We are going to mess up.

[00:20:43] We are all trying to figure this out.

[00:20:45] None of us have it figured out, even though some of us pretend like we do.

[00:20:49] None of us do.

[00:20:50] We're all doing the best we can.

[00:20:52] And when we, who was it?

[00:20:53] Maya Angelou?

[00:20:54] I don't know who it was.

[00:20:55] When we know better, we do better.

[00:20:56] And so that's all we can do.

[00:20:58] And so being hard on ourselves doesn't help anything.

[00:21:02] So those are my thoughts on that.

[00:21:03] What legacy do you want to leave?

[00:21:07] First and foremost, I want to leave the legacy of what my name means, or at least one of the interpretations of what I've read that my name meant.

[00:21:16] Which Darius means he who holds firm to good.

[00:21:22] And so, yeah.

[00:21:24] So first and foremost, I want people to associate me with a positive influence in the community.

[00:21:30] A positive influence, hopefully in the world when it's all said and done.

[00:21:34] A generational curse breaker.

[00:21:36] And actually generational curse, curses breaker.

[00:21:39] You know, and an example to people who come from similar backgrounds that if I could do it, you could do it too.

[00:21:47] Yes.

[00:21:47] I love that.

[00:21:49] What is your greatest failure?

[00:21:51] And what lessons can you thank it for teaching you?

[00:21:55] So I'd say that there's two real significant times in my life where I felt that I failed.

[00:22:03] Just outright failed.

[00:22:04] One was when I was in high school and I was a sophomore basketball player who was called up to play varsity.

[00:22:14] Probably 110 pounds soaking wet with still very much like a promise.

[00:22:21] Showed very much promise, you know.

[00:22:23] Anyways, fast forward.

[00:22:24] Again, idle time.

[00:22:26] Summer, getting in trouble.

[00:22:28] Getting, you know, suspended and arrested and stuff like that.

[00:22:32] Which eventually didn't, none of the things stuck because of my track record of doing good things.

[00:22:39] But that would I say was one of the biggest failures.

[00:22:42] And I'll tell you more in depth about it because it has in it the most valuable lesson.

[00:22:48] So I was arrested, charged with three felony accounts in the state of Illinois.

[00:22:52] Whoa.

[00:22:53] Yes.

[00:22:54] So I was a sophomore and this was in the summertime.

[00:22:57] Well, we did the probationary period.

[00:23:02] Everything was good.

[00:23:03] Soon as the probationary period was up, they had actually told me that all the charges were dismissed.

[00:23:10] So that's what we call in criminology shock incarceration.

[00:23:15] It was something that woke me up.

[00:23:17] I believe it was something that also kind of, you know, I wouldn't necessarily attribute it to God.

[00:23:23] Because sometimes we do stuff and we blame God on it, you know.

[00:23:26] But I would say that what it did, because I remember a conversation I had with my mom.

[00:23:30] I was used to getting out of a lot of trouble growing up.

[00:23:33] I would say, Mom, you know.

[00:23:35] I'd say, Mom, no, it's okay, Mom.

[00:23:37] You know, I got arrested.

[00:23:39] You know, it's all good.

[00:23:40] But we'll get through it.

[00:23:41] Remember the time I got suspended?

[00:23:42] And I was able to show them my essay and they read it.

[00:23:46] And we were all good.

[00:23:48] And then she was like, yeah, son.

[00:23:52] But she said, no.

[00:23:54] Like, this is serious.

[00:23:56] And then I was like, well, nah, like, nah, we're good, Mom.

[00:23:59] Trust me.

[00:24:00] You know, you're going to trust me, right?

[00:24:01] She was like, there he is.

[00:24:03] And she started crying.

[00:24:04] She said, I'm afraid that you're going down the same path that your father's gone down.

[00:24:08] And that's exactly what I was trying not to do with everything that I've instilled in you since basically birth, right?

[00:24:16] So my father, most don't know or most might know if they know me.

[00:24:22] He was in prison basically my entire life up to the age of 21.

[00:24:27] And so that was a moment for me.

[00:24:31] It was a very pivotal moment because it could have went far left, but instead it went far right.

[00:24:36] You know, and I was able to learn from that.

[00:24:40] Fast forward, charges get dropped.

[00:24:43] Of course, I still have to suffer the consequences in the sense that I couldn't play basketball anymore.

[00:24:52] Everybody who knew me from my favorite sport, you know, was no longer able to look at me with that pure, untainted, talent-filled lens.

[00:25:02] And now they got to say, okay, well, he got into some trouble.

[00:25:05] That's why he can't play now.

[00:25:06] And that it dawned on me like, okay, this was a very important element of my life.

[00:25:13] So I was forced to make a decision.

[00:25:15] I was forced to deal with reality beyond the walls of the high school institution, right?

[00:25:22] What does life look like beyond high school, right?

[00:25:25] It doesn't look like going to class, going to seventh period, going to sixth period after you're done with fifth period, going to the restroom, asking the teacher's permission.

[00:25:37] Life is unrestricted based on, you know, when you hit a certain age, you're fully responsible for the consequences of your own actions.

[00:25:45] And because we don't have positive, very many positive male role models, this is why I think that we're hard on ourselves.

[00:25:53] This is why I would say that I was so hard on myself is because I needed it.

[00:25:58] I needed to build that callous in some way.

[00:26:00] And it's unfortunate that it has to come, you know, through adverse circumstances.

[00:26:05] But it's better to be adverse than, you know, even worse, you know, prison or death.

[00:26:11] So it taught me the importance of bootstrapping it up as people say popularly in American society, taking accountability in the most honest way and changing without a thought of going back to your old ways.

[00:26:35] And I think that's important.

[00:26:36] That's important.

[00:26:37] When the stakes are high enough, you'll do the change.

[00:26:40] When the stakes are low enough, that's when you find yourself teeter-tottering back and forth, when dibbling-dabbling back and forth in things that you shouldn't be dibbling-dabbling in, you know.

[00:26:49] And that doesn't have to be something as extreme.

[00:26:51] It could be something, you know, like is, you know, getting a C or a B, you know, or getting, you know, going to practice or skipping practice for the day, you know, or, you know.

[00:27:03] It doesn't have to be nearly as extreme.

[00:27:05] But that extreme circumstances allowed me to help, it allowed me to better navigate the lesser extreme circumstances.

[00:27:13] You see, that's one of the biggest failures I would say.

[00:27:17] I overcame, put me on the right course.

[00:27:21] GPA turned around in high school.

[00:27:23] Ended up just quitting basketball entirely for the most part.

[00:27:27] I did try out for the team, did make the team, did work my way up the roster.

[00:27:31] But I just knew it was too little, too late.

[00:27:33] And I decided to take the academic route to school.

[00:27:37] And I applied for scholarships and got a scholarship to go to Iowa State University, which is where I went for my freshman year before transferring.

[00:27:45] That was one of the biggest failures.

[00:27:47] Another failure was when, after my freshman year of college, I found myself doing a bunch of recreational drugs and stuff.

[00:27:55] Getting into a bunch of nonsense.

[00:27:57] And this is what I did all throughout my childhood, which is what I think is what keeps me so humble today.

[00:28:05] You know, we, like, come from a humble beginning, so it's easier for you to appreciate the little things.

[00:28:11] Like hoodie season or coffee, you know, or things like that, right?

[00:28:18] Yeah, I did a bunch of, you know, partying, drinking, smoking, you know, did all types of recreational drugs.

[00:28:24] And at some point, man, at the end of that freshman year, I no longer had access to the same foolery.

[00:28:29] And I had to go back home, face the same environment that I grew up in.

[00:28:34] But without the circus-like atmosphere, it was just me.

[00:28:40] And sobered up because I didn't have access.

[00:28:45] And yeah, I mean, I remember, you know, that was rock bottom for me.

[00:28:50] Spiritually, socially, physically.

[00:28:54] You know, I felt terrible withdrawing from different drugs and symptoms of that.

[00:29:00] Withdrawing from friend groups.

[00:29:02] People asking me all types of questions.

[00:29:04] Because, you know, even though I wasn't always Brother Darius, I was always a pretty popular, like, figure, you know, to where if they didn't hear from me for a couple days, people were kind of, like, worried.

[00:29:16] Like, what's up, bro?

[00:29:17] Like, normally I hear doing something.

[00:29:19] Getting into something.

[00:29:20] So where are you at?

[00:29:21] Yeah.

[00:29:22] And yeah, that I remember literally saying to myself, you know, like, you can't get lower than this.

[00:29:28] And I ain't talking physical.

[00:29:31] I'm talking just, like, spiritual.

[00:29:34] It doesn't get lower than this.

[00:29:36] It's like, and then the way that I lifted myself out of it was, you know, first and foremost, believing in God, having a real deep conversation with God.

[00:29:46] And then also telling myself that, you know, there's only one way to go when you're at the very bottom.

[00:29:54] And one way to go is up.

[00:29:57] So I just knew, like, if I just took it one moment at a time and then eventually it would be one day at a time, then eventually it would be one week at a time, I'd be somewhere better than where I'm at now.

[00:30:09] And I just told my mom, man, I cried.

[00:30:13] I was like, Mom, look, I didn't ask to be here.

[00:30:16] You know, I didn't ask to be born out of wedlock and to a mother who was a teenager and a father who was incarcerated in an environment that is so, you know, plagued with distractions, you know, and yet we're here and we have to deal with this.

[00:30:36] So, like, it felt unfair, you know.

[00:30:40] It felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest, you know, like, what's the purpose of me living?

[00:30:45] And that's when you find it, is at your low, you know, the bottom.

[00:30:51] Yeah.

[00:30:52] So, yeah, that's a failure.

[00:30:54] But it's so much less than that.

[00:30:56] It's so much I can go into depth about with those things and so many stories of me, you know, picking myself up and trying and failing just day by day, just little stuff.

[00:31:07] Like, again, I'm withdrawing from drugs, so I might drink.

[00:31:11] I might try to drink juice, throw it up.

[00:31:14] Oh, my body told me I need to drink some water, drink some water.

[00:31:19] That's a failure.

[00:31:20] You know, I might, I might, you know, try and get up out of bed.

[00:31:28] Body said, no, sit down, man.

[00:31:30] You know, had enough getting up and getting out of bed.

[00:31:33] So, like, little stuff.

[00:31:35] All this, cold turkey.

[00:31:36] And with the help of no doctors.

[00:31:39] And so, you know, I would say, yeah, I got a lot to be thankful for.

[00:31:46] Thank you for that transparent, vulnerable answer.

[00:31:49] I really appreciate it.

[00:31:51] Like, just opening up and sharing something in your life that was so personal.

[00:31:54] I want to acknowledge something that you said about the charges being dropped because of your previous good behavior.

[00:32:05] And I don't know if we want to say thank God, thank Allah, thank the universe or luck.

[00:32:12] But Darius, we both know that there are plenty of black men in our criminal justice system who either did something in a rash moment that didn't necessarily cause harm to another individual or didn't do it at all and are incarcerated.

[00:32:31] And so, we know that our criminal justice system disproportionately negatively impacts our black males.

[00:32:38] And so, that's why I'm saying even if you had a good past, that doesn't necessarily mean anything.

[00:32:47] And we both know that and we're just going to be honest.

[00:32:49] And so, I'm grateful to Allah, Jesus, whatever we believe, the universe, whatever we believe, luck, whatever it is that we believe in,

[00:32:58] and I'm grateful to that, that you did not have that experience because it could have easily been that way.

[00:33:05] And we know countless black men where it was that way because we know our criminal justice system isn't the best.

[00:33:13] So, I just wanted to acknowledge that as well.

[00:33:17] Yeah, that's true.

[00:33:18] It's true.

[00:33:19] Studies show that a person who's, see, my father was incarcerated.

[00:33:23] My brother is currently locked up as well.

[00:33:26] Studies show that a person whose brothers and fathers and stuff were incarcerated are 60% more likely to go to prison themselves.

[00:33:38] And so, I had worked in prisons teaching drug and alcohol education courses, actually.

[00:33:44] And in some of the training, I met with the prison warden.

[00:33:48] And he had asked everyone at the round table.

[00:33:51] He said, you know, hey, what is it that brought you into this field?

[00:33:53] And I said, I told him what my, you know, what my reason was.

[00:33:57] And I said it was because my father was adversely affected by the prison system.

[00:34:01] I'm adversely affected by the prison system.

[00:34:03] My father's incarcerated.

[00:34:04] My brother is incarcerated.

[00:34:07] And, you know, therefore, and I got plenty of friends, cousins and stuff who've been incarcerated or are still incarcerated.

[00:34:14] And I said, you know, so it's the adverse effect.

[00:34:18] You know, that's what got me, you know, towards this path of trying to help to free those who are in the chains rather than trying, you know, maybe what some might recommend me or others do, which is to incarcerate people who are knuckleheads like me.

[00:34:37] You know, when I was a teenager, I couldn't do it.

[00:34:39] So let me see if I can get involved and prevent, you know, that from happening for somebody who might be in a similar situation.

[00:34:50] I commend you on the work and the progress that you've made, the work that you're doing to just be a better individual within yourself and the work that you're doing to help others.

[00:35:00] And I want to recognize that, again, sometimes young people are making young people decisions, trying out alcohol and or drugs, not saying it's okay.

[00:35:14] I'm saying it's been known to happen as a normal product of development.

[00:35:19] And we know that our black men are disproportionately incarcerated for the same infractions of their counterparts in the white males.

[00:35:28] And so there's a tendency for our young black men not to be able to experience childhood and adolescence and teenagehood and young adulthood to the full extent as their white peers do because they don't have the leeway.

[00:35:44] They don't have that privilege to mess up and be a knucklehead.

[00:35:50] That's not, of course, that's within range and we're not want to cause harm to others, but just like little developmentally appropriate things of experimenting and trying to figure out who they are.

[00:36:00] Unfortunately, too many times our young black males don't have that luxury and that privilege to be kids because they are criminalized.

[00:36:10] Their behaviors are criminalized at a higher rate than their peers.

[00:36:15] And so I just wanted to highlight that while we're talking about incarceration of our family members, our kin folks, because unfortunately it's an epidemic in our, and I don't even know if epidemic is the right word, but it's too prevalent in our culture.

[00:36:32] And it's not because we are more inclined to crime.

[00:36:36] It's not because we are more violent.

[00:36:39] It's not any of those things.

[00:36:41] It's because the way the system is structured where we're not allowed to be free and make mistakes and explore and experiment and try to figure out who we are.

[00:36:53] We don't have that privilege.

[00:36:56] And so I just wanted to lift that up.

[00:36:58] Yeah, see, and not to cut you off, and I appreciate that, but when I got to school, right, when I got to college, you know, to speak to your point, the infrastructure of school, the infrastructure of my white counterparts, neighborhoods, and even their households, right, would allow them to, if they're going to have a drink,

[00:37:23] they can do so under their parents' roof.

[00:37:26] If they're going to smoke some weed, they can do so under their parents' roof.

[00:37:33] You go to college.

[00:37:34] If you go to college between the ages of 18 and 21, drugs run rampant on college campus.

[00:37:42] This is not unknown.

[00:37:43] This is something that is popular.

[00:37:45] So this is their safety net.

[00:37:48] This is a place where society reserves a bit of leniency for a specific demographic, mostly.

[00:37:57] So when I got to college, I said, this is odd.

[00:38:01] You know, here I am in the library and people are chopping up pills and snorting them in the middle of the library at the college, university.

[00:38:09] By that time, I had experienced so much as a teenager.

[00:38:12] I got to college.

[00:38:13] I'm thinking, I did all that already.

[00:38:16] What are we doing?

[00:38:17] We're here.

[00:38:17] We made it out.

[00:38:18] You know, we're in college.

[00:38:19] We made it out.

[00:38:19] I thought we made it out.

[00:38:20] You know?

[00:38:21] Yeah.

[00:38:21] So I'm like, okay, cool.

[00:38:23] So I just thought about it one day and I sat down and I said, you know, I said, man, it's crazy because I got a friend right now doing the same exact thing, but he's at a park, you know, maybe at a park, a little table or something outside, you know, with the boys or something.

[00:38:40] Maybe it's not even that extreme.

[00:38:41] Maybe it's just marijuana.

[00:38:42] It's not even pop pills and stuff.

[00:38:45] But, again, the infrastructure, he's at a park with eight of his homeboys or three of his homeboys or some people playing basketball, some kids playing at the park.

[00:38:53] Meanwhile, you got the other demographics who are in the protection under the guise of, you know, being a college student.

[00:39:01] This is what college students get to do.

[00:39:03] Just go and enjoy your life for four years.

[00:39:05] And this is all coded language.

[00:39:07] This is all, you know, it's like speaking in codes.

[00:39:11] It's no different.

[00:39:12] It's no different than how we grew up.

[00:39:13] It's just we come from different worlds.

[00:39:15] We come from, you know, totally different backgrounds.

[00:39:18] Where do we find common ground?

[00:39:20] You know, how do we find acknowledgement?

[00:39:23] Once we forgive ourselves, now the mission becomes, I mean, now the question becomes, okay, I've forgiven myself, but why haven't you forgiven me?

[00:39:30] You know, why haven't society forgiven me when I know you can relate to some of the things that I've done?

[00:39:36] I know you've done some of the things that I've done and worse.

[00:39:38] I've seen it.

[00:39:39] I witnessed it.

[00:39:40] For sure.

[00:39:40] You know?

[00:39:40] For sure.

[00:39:41] So this is what gave me my desire to want to go forth and say criminal justice related things.

[00:39:48] You know, be it working in nonprofits, be it working in prisons.

[00:39:53] And then ultimately to entrepreneurship, being part of religious organizations and stuff that can also speak to the sentiments that I'm referring to.

[00:40:00] And also mostly taking the side of, say, what we would call like a civil rights activist or attorney.

[00:40:08] One of my favorite books, The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander, where she highlights the parallels between, you know, different generations and how all this was just part of a bigger ploy to continue things that have kept people in certain types of chains.

[00:40:27] Maybe not physical, but more so mental and spiritual.

[00:40:30] So, yeah.

[00:40:32] Yeah.

[00:40:32] That's why I was able to forgive myself.

[00:40:34] Education helped me.

[00:40:35] That's good.

[00:40:36] Describe a time when you felt genuine love.

[00:40:40] Love.

[00:40:41] I feel genuine love often now.

[00:40:43] I can refer to a time when I went to a Christian youth camp and I was working volunteer work as an office assistant.

[00:40:52] And we played games of baseball as like team building experiences.

[00:40:58] They would leave us to ourselves and they would, you know, encourage us to read scripture, pray, ask God for some type of guidance.

[00:41:05] And, well, to just be frank, I was not feeling it at all.

[00:41:10] I thought it was cold.

[00:41:11] I thought it was just, this was just not for our type of people.

[00:41:16] You know what I'm saying?

[00:41:16] Where is the, where is the personality and all of this?

[00:41:21] Like I almost had some fun.

[00:41:22] Where's the basketball?

[00:41:24] Where's the football?

[00:41:25] Let's do some fun stuff too while doing this good stuff.

[00:41:28] So, um, we ended up playing baseball and I think I hit some type of a, like a home run, game winning home run, um, uh, swing.

[00:41:38] And then I ran around the bases and, uh, I finished out the home run and, uh, everybody's cheering.

[00:41:47] Now, the reason why I have to bring up the race of people is because we, we were definitely the minority.

[00:41:53] It was only, and it was a weird dynamic because this was the first time in my life where I've been, um, amongst, like the kids of very wealthy people.

[00:42:04] Uh, I thought for some reason that, that love was reserved specifically for people who struggle, you know, from the same environments that we come from.

[00:42:15] But, uh, I realized in that moment that, you know, whatever it was and that, that I experienced was something that is not, uh, specific to, to, to just, uh, one demographic or another.

[00:42:29] Right.

[00:42:30] Um, when they, they lifted me up in the sky and I'm, I'm smiling and I hear, I hear, uh, cause I don't play baseball like that.

[00:42:37] I just, I was just, you know, out there doing my thing and playing sports.

[00:42:41] So, uh, they lifted me up in the air and it was a bunch of people chanting my name and stuff.

[00:42:46] And they're like, you know, they're like, I heard, I hear a, a, a, a young lady.

[00:42:51] She says, she says, um, wow, he just looks so loved.

[00:42:56] And I just remember that, that word, it just rang.

[00:42:59] Cause in that moment, my father was still incarcerated.

[00:43:01] He was actually getting ready to be released from prison.

[00:43:04] So it was a lot.

[00:43:05] I was in college.

[00:43:05] I was in the middle of college.

[00:43:06] I didn't know how I was going to be able to afford to get back to school.

[00:43:09] Everything I had done up to this point, like after the whole failure, you know, 2017 was around

[00:43:14] the timeframe where I hit rock bottom.

[00:43:16] Everything I did from that point was, was by faith.

[00:43:19] It was literally not knowing the next step.

[00:43:22] So I was still bombarded with like this anxiety, you know?

[00:43:27] And so when I heard that, it just, it just, something just clicked.

[00:43:30] It just, I was like, man, that's true.

[00:43:32] And I, and I felt the eminence.

[00:43:34] I felt that.

[00:43:35] And, and, and then if I could just give you one more example, um, I was working with the

[00:43:41] kids at the boys and girls club under two different ones with the AmeriCorps program.

[00:43:46] We were sent to different boys and girls club sites throughout the Valley.

[00:43:50] I had gotten a job offer elsewhere.

[00:43:55] I had to finish, um, that, that, that, um, term out basically I finished the term out.

[00:44:04] And then I was approaching the day that I would be finished.

[00:44:07] And I try to keep it from the kids.

[00:44:09] I was like, you know, I'm not, I'm not going to tell anybody.

[00:44:11] I want to just make this a smooth, easy transition out.

[00:44:14] But I was so adamant.

[00:44:16] I was so hands-on with the kids.

[00:44:18] There's a number of kids whose lives I really feel like God like put me in to change their

[00:44:23] life.

[00:44:24] Cause they were literally just like reflections of me.

[00:44:26] Right.

[00:44:27] Like, like I had, man, I had this, this one student.

[00:44:31] He was, um, uh, he was like the oldest, just like me.

[00:44:36] He had three brothers just like me and a little sister, just like me.

[00:44:40] They always butted heads.

[00:44:41] They always got into fights.

[00:44:43] They always got into trouble.

[00:44:44] They were always extra aggressive for no reason.

[00:44:46] What would appear for no reason?

[00:44:48] My specific job was to work with those who had, who were the most at risk.

[00:44:53] So of the kids who were in the underprivileged neighborhoods, I'm working, I'm working for

[00:44:58] the underprivileged of the underprivileged.

[00:45:01] And, and I just know being from that environment that it's not that there, um, there's something

[00:45:07] wrong with them.

[00:45:08] It's just, they require more work.

[00:45:10] Just like I required more work.

[00:45:12] People don't want to do the work.

[00:45:14] And that's just what this, that's really what this is about.

[00:45:17] It's about a labor of love.

[00:45:19] And so when you asked the question, when was the last time I felt love?

[00:45:22] I got ready to leave the, um, the term and, um, I had to stay an extra week.

[00:45:28] I said, you know what?

[00:45:29] All the kids is running to me.

[00:45:30] We're leaving.

[00:45:31] Mr. Darius, Mr. Darius, you're leaving.

[00:45:32] We don't want you to leave.

[00:45:33] I want you to leave.

[00:45:34] So I said, oh God, they did it.

[00:45:36] It got me.

[00:45:37] So I stayed an extra week.

[00:45:39] So then I was like, I still wasn't prepared.

[00:45:42] So then we get ready to head out, you know, and the supervisor, uh, of the site, he, he,

[00:45:47] you know, kind of set it up to where like everybody would be aware when I walked out the doors,

[00:45:52] man, the whole entire, uh, the whole entire club just was, was lit.

[00:45:58] They were chanting my name.

[00:45:59] They were kids are coming up to me.

[00:46:01] Ryan is like, Mr. Darius, don't go.

[00:46:05] Mr. Darius, don't go.

[00:46:06] We want to see you.

[00:46:08] Yeah.

[00:46:08] Yeah.

[00:46:08] I had the staff saying, no, bro, you got to go back and visit.

[00:46:10] I said, bro, I am not going back.

[00:46:12] They will have my heart forever.

[00:46:14] If I go back, I cannot go back.

[00:46:16] And so I would say that was another time too.

[00:46:19] Kids will do it.

[00:46:20] That's beautiful.

[00:46:21] They will.

[00:46:22] They will.

[00:46:22] For sure.

[00:46:23] For sure.

[00:46:23] Which reminds me, that's beautiful.

[00:46:24] Thank you so much for sharing that.

[00:46:27] That reminds me.

[00:46:27] I actually have three times that I have felt genuine love.

[00:46:31] One is, um, when I show myself genuine love, when I break to say your language,

[00:46:36] I break those generational curses.

[00:46:38] And then I, when I walk away from unhealthy relationships that aren't serving me platonic,

[00:46:42] romantic, when I walk away and say these aren't serving me to, to, to make me feel my best self.

[00:46:48] So I, I feel love, uh, genuine love with myself when I do those, when I make those tough decisions.

[00:46:55] Uh, to when my, my youngest who, uh, has down syndrome and, uh, I will, it was one day I was sick.

[00:47:05] I looked horrible.

[00:47:06] I smelled horrible because I'd been in bed for two days, no baths, no showers, no brushing teeth.

[00:47:10] I smelled and looked horrible.

[00:47:12] And that baby got up in the morning and said, Hey mommy.

[00:47:15] And gave me the biggest, longest hug.

[00:47:17] And I was like, she was just gonna hug me and all my fun.

[00:47:19] So that's like that genuine love because she doesn't care how I look or how I smell.

[00:47:24] She loves me.

[00:47:25] Right.

[00:47:25] And then my oldest, um, I wasn't, and I say this a lot.

[00:47:30] I wasn't the best mom when my oldest was younger.

[00:47:33] I was, I had her when I was 18.

[00:47:35] So basically we grew up together.

[00:47:36] I hadn't worked through my trauma.

[00:47:38] And so I was not the best mom for her.

[00:47:41] And, and I, as I got older and as she got older, I apologized and said, Hey, you did not

[00:47:46] get the mom you deserved.

[00:47:47] And I apologize, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to be the best mom I can to

[00:47:52] you.

[00:47:52] And she forgave me and she didn't have to.

[00:47:55] And to me, those are the times that I am experiencing genuine love.

[00:47:59] Like she did not, that was genuine love because she could have been like one man.

[00:48:03] Remember that time you did it and did it and did it and she did not.

[00:48:06] She forgave me.

[00:48:08] And so those are the three times that I think about when I have experienced genuine.

[00:48:12] I wanted to hear if you've ever experienced genuine love from like communities or like,

[00:48:16] like unexpected places, you know, in ways that you literally just cannot explain, you know?

[00:48:23] Yeah.

[00:48:24] So yes, the answer is yes.

[00:48:25] Yes.

[00:48:26] I, I firmly believe when I, when I tell my story, my resilience story, I talk about how

[00:48:32] there were little people who not little people, but different people who planted little seeds

[00:48:36] throughout my life.

[00:48:37] And I would count those as times of genuine love.

[00:48:40] So a time would be when my high school teacher, when I was pregnant and my senior year was like,

[00:48:44] Nikita, you know, I expected more from you.

[00:48:47] He was planted that seed of love.

[00:48:48] Like I have this vision for you and, and I, I believe in you or when I won my first election,

[00:48:56] when it was just like, oh my goodness, the community believes in me.

[00:48:59] That's love.

[00:49:00] Or when I have people show up for me for, to help me celebrate myself.

[00:49:04] So there have been countless times where I have felt love from community.

[00:49:10] Uh, and I'm so very grateful for those times, times when my neighbor has shown up to help

[00:49:16] me.

[00:49:17] My air conditioning broke and my neighbor was like, Hey, come spend a night at my house.

[00:49:22] And they couldn't, it was the weekend and it was in the middle of the summer.

[00:49:25] And we know Darius, cause you live here in Arizona with me that that's a no-no in the

[00:49:28] summer.

[00:49:29] And so we couldn't stay in the house.

[00:49:31] And my neighbor was like, Hey, come stay with me overnight, but they would, they would

[00:49:35] be able to come the next day.

[00:49:36] And I was like that.

[00:49:37] So it's countless, countless times that I have experienced love from my fellow humans.

[00:49:44] The ones that stick out are of course my babies cause they're the closest to me.

[00:49:49] And then of course myself, cause you're never going to be closer to anyone than you are yourself.

[00:49:53] You're not going to spend any time, no time more with anyone than you just spend with yourself.

[00:49:57] So that's why those three popped up for me.

[00:49:59] When is the last time you laughed so hard your belly hurt?

[00:50:03] Man, I laugh every day, every single day.

[00:50:06] Yeah.

[00:50:07] Is laughing important?

[00:50:08] Yep.

[00:50:08] Super important.

[00:50:09] Laughing.

[00:50:10] Why?

[00:50:11] Save us.

[00:50:12] Well, they say, first of all, laughter is good for the soul.

[00:50:15] Yes.

[00:50:16] Second of all, I actually find it therapeutic to laugh at my old, like past mistakes, things

[00:50:22] that people would be like, yes.

[00:50:24] And then I just like, yeah, I mean, but Hey, we got past it.

[00:50:28] Like if it would have turned out any other way, we wouldn't be laughing at it, you know,

[00:50:32] but because it turned out the way that it did, then we can make fun of it.

[00:50:34] Yeah.

[00:50:35] But it had to have been some type of YouTube video or some social media clip or something

[00:50:40] that I was just, you know, just found absolutely, you know, hilarious, you know, to where I'm

[00:50:46] laughing hysterically.

[00:50:47] So yeah, just I'm laughing all day for sure.

[00:50:51] It's funny that you say that because I love that you said that the laughing at your past

[00:50:56] mistakes, that's actually a trait of resilience is not to take yourself too seriously.

[00:51:00] It's to be able to laugh at yourself because again, we're all human.

[00:51:05] We are going to mess up again and again and again, because we're trying to figure it out

[00:51:10] and it's life is just easier if we don't take ourselves too seriously, if we are able

[00:51:15] to laugh at ourselves and learn and grow and not be too hard on ourselves.

[00:51:19] So I love that you said that that's actually a resilience trait.

[00:51:22] So brother Darius, you have gone through all of my questions.

[00:51:28] Do you have anything you want to say before we end the episode?

[00:51:33] First of all, I want to say thank you because you just took me through a whole whirlwind of

[00:51:37] emotions recalling all these old stories.

[00:51:40] Second of all, I would like to encourage the audience, any listeners or viewers to think

[00:51:47] about how important it is to get, to be present and to move forward.

[00:51:53] And what I mean by that is regardless as to whatever it is that happens in the past is

[00:51:59] you hear it all the time.

[00:52:00] It's over with, right?

[00:52:02] But like when you really understand what I mean by the task that is at hand is at hand.

[00:52:10] Like that goes for both the negative and the positive, you know, whether you made a mistake

[00:52:16] or whether you did very, very well, right?

[00:52:18] The most successful people are actually able to transition fast to the next thing.

[00:52:25] And this is why they can accomplish much more in less time.

[00:52:28] And this is what I think we should focus on.

[00:52:30] We should focus on optimization.

[00:52:31] If we think that we're doing well in life now, if we think that we are doing enough now,

[00:52:39] you know, if you learn to kind of keep more of a level head and instead of kind of riding

[00:52:44] like this emotional roller coaster that life has to offer you, you know, and focus again

[00:52:48] at the task at hand, accomplishing all minor goals to hopefully hit a major goal sooner

[00:52:54] than later, you know, you'll find yourself to be a whole lot more successful, a whole lot

[00:52:57] healthier, happier.

[00:52:58] And that's what I would like to leave with most definitely.

[00:53:02] Thank you.

[00:53:03] Thank you for those words of wisdom to close out the episode.

[00:53:06] Thank you for making time to be on the podcast.

[00:53:09] I hope this episode gave you some tools to connect with and increase your resiliency.

[00:53:14] I'm proud of you.

[00:53:15] Let's keep up the momentum.

[00:53:17] Follow Resilient Life on your favorite podcast platform and on YouTube at Resilient Life Podcast.

[00:53:24] Until next time, be kind to yourself and others.