Breaking Into The Book Industry: Lessons From Author Malika's Journey

[00:00:03] . You are listening to Resilient Life, the podcast where we explore the power of resiliency. I'm Nikita Ross. It is my hope that listening to this podcast will give you the tools to connect with and increase your resiliency. So join me on this adventure of self discovery

[00:00:24] and self love. Thank you for joining us for another episode of Resilient Life. In today's episode, we have an amazing, wonderful, special author. I would love you to introduce yourself and tell us anything you want us to know about you. Sure. Well, my name is Malika J.

[00:00:45] Steveley. I am the author of the historical novel Song of Redemption, which is a southern historical novel set in Louisiana. And there was a lot of research that went into it, which I'll get into later. But my background is I am a genealogist. I am also a former

[00:01:08] journalist and I am a communication enthusiast as well, as well as a writer. So that's a little bit about me. I'm from Charlotte, North Carolina, and I have also lived in Los Angeles, California and Arizona. I'm so glad to be on the show and I appreciate

[00:01:30] the invitation. Thank you so much for being here. Let's talk about some of the research you've done for your book and this incredible book. Sure. I'll tell you a little bit about the inspiration for it, which leads into the background of the book. So with

[00:01:50] the background of the book is that lady who I met through my mother was telling me about her father and how her father was a part of a construction company in Louisiana, or construction crew. And he and his team were sent to refurbish this

[00:02:10] mansion. So they go into this mansion and her father is noticing that the blueprint is a little bit different than what they're actually seeing. So he saw in one of the rooms was a wall that had been erected and that wall was not in

[00:02:28] the blueprint. So he gets a closer look at the wall, he starts noticing that there's hair in this wall. And that really wasn't anything unusual because they used to put horse hair and all kinds of other things in the plaster

[00:02:49] building, you know, homes and whatnot. But he noticed that this hair was curly. So he starts chipping at it, starts picking at it. He's like, okay, there's something or someone behind this wall. So he's looking at his crew members

[00:03:03] and nobody nobody wants to touch it. Everybody's like, dude, he's like, okay, finally, he's like, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna knock it down. He knocks down the wall. And behind the wall is a woman who is an

[00:03:17] A roundabout chair, or the remains of a woman in a roundabout chair. Her wrists were bound and her ankles were bound. And with the type of clothing and with the slave badge that she had on, they recognized that she was a former house

[00:03:36] slave. And so with that information, you know, I was thinking there's so many untold stories about our past about, you know, the history of African African Americans and blacks in America. And I just could not let that

[00:03:57] story go. And it's one of those that it stuck with me for quite some time. And, and so I, as a former journalist, or then a journalist, they did my research, I looked into all of the records that I could at the time. I

[00:04:17] took a few trips down to Louisiana. And I spoke to people, I did a lot of footwork, had some, you know, some people who didn't quite know, you know, what had happened, but they had heard stories about it from great,

[00:04:37] great ancestors and whatnot. And so I felt it was my responsibility to, to do some digging and to find out a little bit more about who this woman was, how she lived, what led up to her fate. And so the book itself starts in 1932.

[00:04:57] I forgot to mention that part. So she was found in 1932 by this gentleman. And she actually passed in the 1850s, late 1850s. So, wow. All that being said, you know, I did some digging and learned about a lot of the

[00:05:14] legislation that happened within slavery, and a lot of other things that were going on within the state and after the Civil War and whatnot. So long story short, a lot, a lot of research went into it took about, you

[00:05:28] know, about 10 years to do some of the research. And so ultimately it crafted into the historical novel Song of Redemption. That is a wonderful story. I didn't realize how much of the foundation of the novel was based off of that real life experience you had. That makes

[00:05:51] even more exceptional. Would you say that it's in your, you're welcome. Would you say that it's in your research journey to gather historical information would be the norm? Or would you say it's because you're so thorough and detailed and you want to be as accurate as possible, that

[00:06:12] that's your norm? Or would you say it's because it was your first embarking on it that it took that long? It was probably a combination of all three. And I would say that I was very, I was very persistent. It probably would not have taken that long, but

[00:06:30] I was extremely persistent to try to find as much information as I could. And I still didn't get all of the information, which is why it's why I had to craft some of the story myself and try to fit together some

[00:06:46] pieces and some gaps that in the areas where I could not find the information. And part of that reason was because of natural disasters that happened. You know, there were a lot of records that were lost during Hurricane Katrina. You know, I was in communication with the

[00:07:05] with the coroners and with the library in their archives department. And yeah, a lot of that information was lost, unfortunately. And what I could not lose was that story. So when it comes to when it comes to

[00:07:23] Black history, I try to be extremely thorough because, you know, once it's forgotten, it's forgotten. And, you know, we already we're already living in a time where people want our history to be forgotten, want it to be lost and want it to be erased. And I if if

[00:07:42] I could do my due diligence and try to find as much information as possible and can have it continuously live on, then that's what I was going to do. I think you did a wonderful job of exactly what you say,

[00:07:57] capturing this untold story of our history, because there are so many. And you took the charge upon yourself to share the experience of too many of our ancestors and what they've experienced and to memorialize it so that it'll live long after you.

[00:08:18] So I think it's a wonderful, beautiful legacy that you've created. Thank you. Thank you so much. Of course. Just to add to that, as I mentioned, I'm a I'm a genealogist as well. So part of part of what I do by hobby, the part of what

[00:08:36] I do is, is a lot of research and a lot of digging and, you know, a lot of learning about history. And I know what the history books say, but you know, what do these actual records tell me?

[00:08:52] And there's a lot of conflict that's going on in our textbooks and in what we're being told. So that being said, with genealogy, that's where I also was able to apply some of my my research and my my process within writing this book as well.

[00:09:14] Thank you for that. Malika, I have a question for those who are watching who are aspiring authors, they want to start, but they don't know where to start. What advice would you have for them, especially Black women? We know it's harder for people of color to

[00:09:32] break into the literary business. And so you've done it. We'll get to the accolades your book has received, we'll get there. But you've done it. And so what advice would you have for aspiring authors? I'd say just get started. First of all, one of my favorite

[00:09:50] quotes is by Mark Twain. And he says, the secret of getting ahead is just getting started. So I would say just write. And then the next step would be to join some writers groups. There's so many that are out there that are that are

[00:10:11] customized for you know, whatever it is that you're looking for. Let's say you write fantasy. There's so many wonderful writers groups that are both in person and virtually. And I would check with your check with your local library, because most of most libraries have a writing group.

[00:10:31] There's there's a few of them that I know. So I would say that that's one of the best ways as well as looking at some of the indie bookstores and some of them have both book clubs as well as writing groups. So look into that as

[00:10:48] well. And sometimes some universities or community colleges will open their doors for any sort of critiques or again, writing groups as well. The next step, I would say is decide whether or not you want to do either self publishing or if you want to go and look at

[00:11:13] some of the big publishing houses. Or if you would like to look at you know, some of the the boutique publishing companies. So or they're also called like hybrid publishing companies as well where, you know, you have more of

[00:11:30] your, your, your rights, so it you just need to really decide where you would like to go with your writing if it's something that you want to continue to do. And if it's something that you want to do full time. So yeah, I

[00:11:48] can speak all day about about the publishing companies and the pros and cons but I know we have limited time here. What about your actual writing process? Do you have a process? Is there like some writers are like, it

[00:12:05] has to be this time of day, my desk has to look like this, it has to be total silence. Some writers are like, I have to escape to the beach or the country. Do you have a writing process? And if you do, are you comfortable sharing it?

[00:12:19] Sure, I do have a writing process and in an ideal world, it would be nice to find that nice perfect quiet place that has like the best scenery and just write but if you are a if you're a working

[00:12:35] mom, or if you have a full time position and that's just not feasible for you. I would say just right, I would say, pick a day and pick a day in an hour to write. So what my process was

[00:12:53] starting out was, I'll go back to when I first started writing. I first started writing when I was 15. I wrote my first novel at 15. I've not published it yet for various reasons. But I started writing at 15 and just organically, I

[00:13:10] picked a day and the day was Friday evenings and Friday evenings at when would I start typically at like five o'clock. And however long I needed to write, then that's how long I wrote. So very often I wrote well into

[00:13:28] Saturday afternoon. So I would say pick a day and a time to start writing and then you can expand on that. You can you can try to write something every day, you know, for 30 minutes or for an hour. But the whole goal is to

[00:13:43] write something even if you feel like you don't necessarily have something to write or you know, you want to go in a different direction with your outline. The whole goal is to have something down. So I would say do that. And then also you can dedicate whatever day

[00:14:02] that you selected or days to, you know, the research part of it. Whereas the other day could be just the whole writing process. So that would be, you know, my first few steps is to pick a day, pick a time, get writing.

[00:14:20] I think those are really good practical steps. It wasn't lofty like, oh, wake up in the morning and feel inspired. It was very practical tips. You stated that not everyone has the opportunity to have the perfect environment to write in and to work with what

[00:14:38] you have. So thank you for those tips. I want to talk about accolades about that the book has received. So you have gotten some accolades, your book has been featured in, I want to say one or two bookstores. Please share. Yeah, so thank you for that

[00:15:00] opportunity. I what I what I started doing was reaching out to indie bookstores because indie bookstores absolutely love local authors. So I reached out to them and of course there is a process they have to see if your book will be a really good fit for

[00:15:20] their stores. And I made a lot of connections when reaching out to some of these people. And, you know, some of the shop owners are just fantastic because they are in they are enthusiastic about books and reading and writing. And they really

[00:15:38] want to see both their store flourish, but they want to see the author flourish as well. So that was one thing that that I did. So I reached out to some and it's currently in four bookstores. It's due to be in Barnes and Noble soon, which I'm

[00:16:02] extremely excited about. Yes, it's it's going to be there physically. It's currently online wherever you get your your books and in terms of awards. So I recently became a finalist for the the International Book Awards in the category of African American fiction. Thank you.

[00:16:29] And then and then I'm also a finalist in the Indie Book Awards as well. And I received a five star review from readers favorites. Really inspiring to hear that you do so much work and to be able to see the fruits of your labor. And I hope

[00:16:51] you're very proud. Thank you. I am. I think what I'm most I think what I'm most proud of though are just the conversations that have started because of the book. And that's really all that I wanted for the book. You know, I

[00:17:09] never really set out to write this and think, oh, I want to make a million dollars or you know, I want my face plastered on Times Square with this. But it's never been about that. It's always been about telling this woman's story and

[00:17:24] her journey. And her name is Danielle, by the way. So telling Danielle's story and her journey and just sharing the stories of others who are also within the book who are also real characters. When people come to me and they tell me

[00:17:41] about the joy that it gave them. I know it sounds like it's a morbid book, but there's really joy behind it. There's some there's tears behind it. There's, you know, there's all of these different emotions that are that's behind this book. And so when people come to me

[00:18:01] and they tell me how the book made them feel or how the book allowed them to go speak to some of their relatives and ask more questions that they didn't think to ask or to have a relation, more of a relationship with

[00:18:18] you know, some of the seniors and their families who either try to keep certain secrets to themselves or you know, all kinds of things, you know, actually came from these conversations. So I think I'm the most proud of that, of hearing the journey of these

[00:18:39] people who have read the book. And I'm very grateful and I'm just, I'm enjoying the journey myself. Like I think you gave the best advice that anyone could give a writer, an author, any kind of creative when you said, I didn't do it setting out to be

[00:19:00] famous or popular or to use your words, get a million dollars. I think that's so wonderful because when we are creating, be it writing, painting, whatever we're creating, if we're creating it from a place of love and I want to share with people whom it'll touch without having

[00:19:26] the motivation to gain notoriety from it. I think that is some of the best advice and that's when we can be in our pure form of creation when we're doing it for the purpose of creating something beautiful and magical and special, which this novel is.

[00:19:46] Thank you for that. I love that inspiration of why you started this and the purity of your journey in writing this. I think it's absolutely beautiful and aspirational. Thank you. Yeah. And I, I totally agree with what you say, what you said about creatives. I recently had a

[00:20:11] conversation with a recording artist and we've spoken about, he and I have spoken about this before, but we talk about how the music industry and the publishing industry are almost parallel because with music you have singers and musicians who want to just make

[00:20:33] good music and they want to do it for not just themselves, but for maybe those who can enjoy their genre of music. But sometimes you have these, the industry where they want to market you a certain way or they want to change and shift something. And

[00:20:52] it's just, it's not quite what you set out to do. And so I just, yeah, I just think it's interesting that how parallel a lot of these industries run and it's really easy to lose sight of why you even started to begin with

[00:21:10] and who you set out to actually inspire. So yeah, thank you for that reminder. Yeah, that resonates with me because when I started the podcast, I said, I want to connect with people who can benefit from increasing their resiliency. And I don't want to be focused on

[00:21:31] the number of followers, numbers of likes and the number of subscribes. However, social media and other platforms are like, you know, this many here's how you get more. And I have to like constantly remind myself that's not why you got in it.

[00:21:47] You didn't get in it for to use your number a million subscribers or followers. You got in it to touch whomever this touches and hopefully inspires them to increase their resiliency. And so when you said that, that's why it resonated with me

[00:22:01] and that's why I thought it was so beautiful. And I think all creatives could use that reminder every once in a while. So thank you for how you've worded it was beautiful. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, and I feel like with with your podcast,

[00:22:17] like if you touch one person, you don't know the effects of that one person. You don't know how much of a light that one person is because you're a light yourself. So, you know, when you touch somebody else who was also a light,

[00:22:30] I mean, it's just it's just phenomenal, you know, how much power you can actually bring to so many others. So when you even started this, I already told you how perfect I thought you were for this because because given, you know, your your background and

[00:22:51] given your experiences, life experiences and lessons that you learn, I mean, I still feel like there's no better person to have this podcast and this platform but you. So so I definitely applaud you. And I'm proud of the work that you've done.

[00:23:10] And I can't wait to, you know, see where your journey where your journey leads. Thank you. I love that. Speaking of more journeys, Lee, as you're making me tear up. What's next for Malika? Do we continue to promote this book while writing a second one?

[00:23:32] Or do we just focus on this one for now? A little of both. So I am writing and researching another book. And so that one that that one's going to be very interesting because it's it's also based on a true story with maybe fictitious

[00:23:57] aspects of it as well. And so I'm really excited about this next one that's coming out. There's also one that that's that I've already written and I'm adding a little bit more to it, that there I am there I am again, you know, trying to be extremely thorough.

[00:24:17] But there are it it involves a couple of Native American tribes. And I really want to highlight, you know, their their cultures as well as their customs. And so, you know, this is this is definitely one that I need to get right. So again, there's a lot of

[00:24:42] research that's going into both of the books. And currently, the the book Song of Redemption is going to be out on Audible soon. And I am extremely excited about it. So it should be out next month and or at the end of next month.

[00:25:03] And so I will definitely let you know when well, yeah, when it's when it's out and when it's available for purchase, you are and will be officially on all the platforms. And that is really exciting. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. Well, it could tell me

[00:25:27] how do you define resilience? I define resilience as not allowing to be knocked down. You know, there are rejection is a part of life and failure is also a part of life. But lessons are also a part of each of those things. And so I feel as though

[00:25:50] if you have if you have a set goal or set purpose and you are striving for that, you may you may need to just change your approach, but still focus on on that goal or that purpose. And so I feel that is that's a part of resilience.

[00:26:07] And with resilience comes strength. With resilience comes wisdom. And with resilience comes comes lessons, lessons that. You can learn, but also you might be going through a certain phase or going through a certain experience not just for yourself, but for other people. So all that to say

[00:26:30] that's my definition of resilience. That's a great definition. If you have that definition in mind, do you consider yourself to be resilient? Absolutely. There. Yeah, there's a number of there's a number of things there's a number of experiences that I've had where. You know, in my younger days

[00:26:52] I was thinking, OK, well, what's what's the point of me even going through this or why? Why did this? Why did this particular thing happen? And a lot of times I beat myself up for it. You know, I took accountability and I was also mad at

[00:27:11] whatever the situation was or whoever I felt, you know, cause that situation. But at the same time. I there were so many lessons that I learned from it and. I feel as though I grew, you know, I wouldn't want to I wouldn't go as far as to say,

[00:27:30] you know, I wouldn't change anything there. There's definitely some things that I would change, but overall I feel as though I'm very resilient and even with this book I was told no so many times. So many times, which is why I changed my approach, you know?

[00:27:51] And I knew what the focus was and the focus had nothing to do with how many likes that I had. That was because that was one of the things. Oh, would you? You don't have that many subscribers or you don't have. You don't have a huge following,

[00:28:07] so we're you know, we're not interested. So things like that where, you know, where. You try some people might try to get you off track with your with your goals, I think that. I think in my case I was definitely resilient and going forward, you know, in life

[00:28:30] and also with with my book and you know what I feel as though my purpose is, which is writing. I love that and I love. That transparency of what happens behind the scenes sometimes when you're trying to get your work published. And the faulty thinking of likes

[00:28:51] equates to a well written book, which should be the criteria. Is it a well written book? Not how many likes and followers you have because I can have a million. But if I don't write well, so in that essence, it becomes about

[00:29:08] how much money can you make us and not like you said, the goals of how do I get this? Amazing story. Out into the world so that it can educate people, inspire people, challenge people to think and see things differently to. Change the way they see the world

[00:29:31] that is the purpose and the goal and not likes and I love that you hit on that. That's beautiful. Thank you. Yeah, and to add on to that. Yeah, that. You know I started to see. I started to see what was happening in the world

[00:29:50] like when by the time that this book came out and I was getting all the nose, you know, I actually celebrated which was which is unusual, you know, and I know it sounds strange to hear that, you know, I got rejected, yay, but that wasn't the case,

[00:30:06] you know, I felt as though, you know. It started, you know them saying no started the process for me, so I was like OK, great moving on and so so with that I felt that I was one step closer either to a yes or to whatever

[00:30:26] my next step would be. And so yeah, so each no I was just like OK. Yay on to the next. And so so yeah, so I felt I feel as though that's that's a part of resiliency as well. I I love that response. I love that.

[00:30:50] It's validating right and it is resilience because. The resilience has a level of optimism and you exhibit optimism by saying oh no, OK, what's next? Or I know this is moving me toward whatever is next. And not everyone has that. I can tell you that

[00:31:15] I take rejection pretty hard and so I love that perspective that you have. Can you share a little bit about how you got to that place? Well, I always have this mindset of. OK, I want to do something and I want to accomplish something.

[00:31:32] So I know to some people it might sound outlandish or it might seem untouchable, but why is it untouchable? Is it untouchable just because I'm you know the average Josephine? You know, and that person over there can accomplish it because he or she is is a celebrity.

[00:31:53] No, they're human just like I am. And so what did they do to to get it? Or you know, what are some of the back roads that I have to take to get to where I need to go? And so I think I think just keeping

[00:32:08] that in mind really helps. I think knowing. Knowing how to do your research and knowing you know who you might need to speak with and things like that, I think that's very that's key. And I think, you know, rejection is just a big part of life anyway,

[00:32:28] and there's always going to there's always going to be people telling you no, there's always going to be people telling you you can't do something or you're ugly or you're not enough in whatever capacity. So it's it's easy for for me now to shut them out and say,

[00:32:48] no, I am enough or I may be able to improve on this and I will get there. But and this is how I'm going to get there. So, you know, so I just really think that, you know, having that that mindset of

[00:33:05] you can do it, whatever it is. I think having that mindset is just is so valuable and you don't need to look at what everybody else is doing. You just need to focus on what you're doing and how you're going to get there and have that strategy.

[00:33:19] I know that right now historical fiction seems to be your genre. But I am looking forward to your self help motivation book. Those are I just imagine myself reading those words. It was beautiful. Thank you. Of course, I appreciate that. What made you smile today?

[00:33:43] My my kids made me smile today. They make me smile every day because just without trying to just without trying their their hilarious, I think just being them and. Trying to have I know what it was. They were trying to have a serious deep conversation

[00:34:06] and all I see is baby when they're talking, they're five and eight. And so all I see is baby when they're trying to be serious with me about something today. It was about pizza and and why we should get pizza today. And so they're they're

[00:34:28] they're pitching their case as to why we should have pizza. And so that that's what made me smile. And I don't even know what it is that they said because it was just yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all I heard.

[00:34:45] Malika, what is the theme song of your life? So if you look in the mirror and you're feeling yourself or you're trying to pump yourself up or motivate yourself, what is this song? It depends on the situation, but OK, because I kind of have

[00:35:04] I have two to three smogs. I don't have to sing it, do I? You do not. I do have to say you do not have to sing it now unless you want to. OK, you can if you want to. Well, so the first one, especially if if I'm

[00:35:21] if I'm about to do something, if I'm if I'm going on a speaking engagement or if I'm going on, you know, if I'm going to be, you know, at a bookstore, at a feature as a featured author or something like that, then

[00:35:34] I love Mary Mary's Go Get It. Go get it, go get it, go get it, go get it, go get it, go get it. Yeah, and it talks about it talks about how is your time, you know, and and how you need to just go reach out there

[00:35:55] and get your blessing, get get what is promised to you. So I absolutely love that. What's funny is that I could not stand that song when it first first came out. I liked I liked the words, but, you know, over time it just it just.

[00:36:17] You know, I just adopted it. And so I like it now. So, yeah, Mary Mary's Go Get It. Also, I'm huge on I love I love performances and I love the stage and whatever. So the second song will be shot by by the musical Hamilton.

[00:36:39] I'm not giving away my shot. Yeah, that one. Yes. And. From The Greatest Showman, this is me. Yeah. So if you've never seen The Greatest Showman, that that song really defines what a lot of people, you know, might be going through

[00:37:01] if they're told that they're they're not not enough. They're not articulate enough. They're not beautiful enough. They're not. Yeah, it's it's it's called This Is Me. And the words are just so powerful. Those are those are the three. I know you asked for one and I apologize.

[00:37:18] But those are those are the three. There are no wrong answers. So I ask for one. But if you have five, you have five. There are no wrong answers. Those will be my top three right there.

[00:37:35] I like it. I'm going to have to listen to one of them. The rest of them know two of them, the Mary Mary and the greatest show. The great. Yeah, the greatest showman. The song is This Is Me. Beautiful, beautiful lyrics and power is very empowering as well.

[00:37:52] Sounds promising. What is the healthiest thing you've done for yourself? The healthiest thing couple of things change. I I changed my environment. And what I mean by that is. You know, I noticed that my mental health was declining and when when I lived in Los Angeles, for example,

[00:38:15] my mental health was declining, and there are a lot of things that were involved with that, there was, you know, the fact that economically, it's not may not necessarily be the best place for me to live. And so working three jobs was not

[00:38:31] was not how I envisioned living, you know, my life while not being able to do what I wanted to do, which was right. So that and then, you know, that also, you know, I looked at I looked at my my circle of friends.

[00:38:48] And, you know, while I think that why I thought I still think that I have a good circle of friends there. Um. I felt that I still didn't fit into the culture of Los Angeles. And so, you know, great place to visit.

[00:39:06] I'm not I'm not bashing L.A. by any means. I'm just saying it's just was not for me and coming home after, you know, working two and three jobs and coming home in the evening and choosing between do I eat or do I sleep?

[00:39:23] Or do I, you know, work on my passion project? Do I have time to work on my passion project? It really was not the best thing for me. So I changed my environment and decided to just branch out and just move, you know, try to. Find, you know.

[00:39:45] What what's one place where I feel as though I can I can flourish, whether it's, you know, within my career or personally, you know, did I need to be around, you know, family more? You know, so having all of those thoughts in mind and considerations,

[00:40:03] I decided to move on my own and, you know, move someplace where I didn't originally have family. And so that was the absolute healthiest for me because I I was able to find, you know, additional friends here and build a community.

[00:40:25] And I didn't I didn't know what a community was, you know, when I lived on the West Coast, I had no idea. You know, when I lived in Arizona, I learned what a community was. But I think that that was the absolute healthiest thing for me to do

[00:40:40] was to put my mental health first and then change my environment. And I met my husband here and. I I met my church community here, and they are a strong, beautiful community of, you know, powerful men and women. And it's just it's just been a lovely thing,

[00:41:06] you know, to to witness and to be adopted into as well. Thank you for that. I think and I didn't hear you acknowledges. So I'm going to acknowledge it for you. The level of bravery it takes to. Pack up everything, you know,

[00:41:26] and go to a place that's away from your core, be it your parents, be it your siblings, whatever your core unit is. That takes so much bravery. And then to do it more than once. Oh, that is awesome. And kudos to you for that. Thank you.

[00:41:44] I do have to add that, of course, a lot of so a lot of research didn't a lot of research went into it first. I didn't just pack up and say, I'm going to move. So a lot of a lot of research went into it first.

[00:41:59] And then a lot of prayer also went into it because it is it is a scary thing to just, you know, pack everything up and then just move by yourself and you don't know what's going to happen. And so there are numerous times when.

[00:42:17] So, like, for example, when I moved from Arizona to to North Carolina, you know, I'd start packing in the morning and I, you know, kept thinking. You know, I would pray about it and say, Lord, is this the right move for me? Should I stay here?

[00:42:33] You know, do you have something else for me that I just don't know about? Or should I continue to move? You know, I didn't I didn't hear a word from God or anything at the at that time.

[00:42:43] And so finally, I got frustrated and I said, Lord, I'm have to hear from you. I said, I don't I don't want, you know, I don't want anything symbolic. I don't want you to bring, you know, anybody my way to tell me

[00:42:57] what you would like for me to do. I want to hear from you. And so finally, you know, I got up the next morning, you know, and I said, Lord, am I making the right move? And clear as day, he said, continue with your plans.

[00:43:10] I was like, OK. Yeah, yeah. You know, and so it's it's it took a whole lot of faith even when I got here. It took a whole lot of faith because still, you know, there's there's always the unknown is always the what ifs.

[00:43:26] But, you know, what I did not want leaving me was regret. You know, just having faith and stepping out is, you know, at least I could say I tried, you know, even if things didn't didn't go the way that that I had planned. That's why I feel

[00:43:45] no, I think it's beautiful and I love that. Leica, how do you celebrate yourself? I celebrate myself by going on a Malika retreat. OK, so this is what I advise for for every woman, especially every working woman, every every woman who is a who is a mom,

[00:44:08] whatever your situation is, I would say at least at the very least find find a day in 24 hours, find a wonderful either resort or hotel or, you know, campgrounds, if that's what you're into and just go for 24 hours. Of course, bring your phone, tell people where you're going.

[00:44:31] But that's your time. So that's your time to sit there and sip on wine by the pool. That's your time to, you know, maybe even catch up with with friends, you know, talking to friends over the phone who you haven't spoken to in a while.

[00:44:46] That's your time to write something to journal to. To eat, you can order in pray all exactly. So that is your time. And so that's how I celebrate myself is by going on a Malika retreat.

[00:45:06] And it's, you know, the goal is to come back refreshed and to have like a clear mind. Now, if you if you have more than 24 hours, by all means, go do it. But I think I think that something happens within that 24 hours

[00:45:24] where everybody needs like a needs to reset. And I think that that's like one of the best ways, you know, for myself and for other people, women, especially to celebrate yourself. So that would be my answer. I think that's beautiful. I think that's a necessity.

[00:45:41] As you said, all women especially should have it. I want to add, if you don't mind, I think about sometimes we forget about our privileges that we can do those things, we can hop in our car and go camping or can afford one night at a hotel.

[00:45:59] And I just want to add a little bit, if you don't mind, if a person is at a place where they don't have the ability to do those things, have an area in your house, your bedroom. I don't know where it is.

[00:46:14] The balcony, I don't know some area where you're like, if there are a spouse or roommates or children. This is my space for 24 hours. Leave me be. Are you OK with if I add that to your beautiful self-care plan? Absolutely. That actually that actually crossed my mind.

[00:46:36] In my case, I put some money in my savings so I can go to a resort. But, you know, I understand that not everybody might be able to do that. You know, I would also say

[00:46:50] if you need to make a day for yourself and go to the library or go, you know, go to your favorite restaurant. It can even doesn't even have to be anything expensive. If you if you like McDonald's Sundays and that is your thing,

[00:47:07] make that a part of your day, you know, or however many hours that you have to spare. So so yeah, I'm totally in agreement with, you know, having that space, whatever it is or wherever it is to to celebrate yourself and to recharge,

[00:47:25] reset and to, you know, to just be you. I love it. That's beautiful. I agree with all of that. I'm going to try to implement it. I haven't done a good job of that. Taking my Nikita time. Oh, no. I'll work on that. Thank you.

[00:47:42] You need a Nikita retreat. I do. I do. I really do. I'm working on it. Yeah, I'll get there. Any closing words, statements, comments? Well, I mean, going back to going back to the writing, I would say. I would say if writing is your thing,

[00:48:07] I mean, it doesn't have to be your thing. If you need to write about you or if you want a journal, I would recommend doing that at least, you know, find 30 minutes, 30 minutes a week, you know, during one day or however many days

[00:48:22] that you can spare that time. And I would just say, right, you know, it's there's something just very therapeutic about journaling and about, you know, writing about a certain experience that you may have had or something that you would like to share,

[00:48:38] you know, to with with your kids, you know, further on down the line or something. So I would definitely say, right. So, yes, I would say to make that make that time to to either write about you,

[00:48:53] write about, you know, an experience that you had or to to share something that you want for your children, your family members, your best friend, your spouse, your partner. And I just really think that that's there's something powerful about our stories and sharing your journey and your story

[00:49:16] could be just the key that somebody else might need or yourself or your mental health. So that's what I would suggest. Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of Resilient Life. I'm so excited about the conversation we had and the knowledge that you shared.

[00:49:35] I'm so grateful for you giving me your time and your wisdom. Thank you. Thank you. I hope this episode gave you some tools to connect with and increase your resiliency. I'm proud of you. Let's keep up the momentum. Follow Resilient Life on your favorite podcast platform

[00:49:53] and on YouTube at Resilient Life podcast. Until next time, be kind to yourself and others.