The Secret To Being Lovable

[00:00:03] [SPEAKER_00]: You are listening to Resilient Life, the podcast where we explore the power of resiliency.

[00:00:10] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm Nikita Ross.

[00:00:12] [SPEAKER_00]: It is my hope that listening to this podcast will give you the tools to connect with and

[00:00:18] [SPEAKER_00]: increase your resiliency.

[00:00:20] [SPEAKER_00]: So join me on this adventure of self discovery and self love.

[00:00:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome I'm Nikita Ross and I'm here to guide you toward living your best life.

[00:00:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Today we're exploring another tool in our resilience building arsenal.

[00:00:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Today's episode is all about the secrets to being lovable.

[00:00:44] [SPEAKER_00]: What makes you lovable?

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Have you wondered what you can improve or change or add to make yourself more lovable

[00:00:52] [SPEAKER_00]: or more deserving of love?

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Love is a word that carries immense weight.

[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_00]: It has the power to heal, to connect and to inspire.

[00:01:01] [SPEAKER_00]: But beyond its poetic allure, love is a fundamental human need.

[00:01:06] [SPEAKER_00]: It's something we all crave.

[00:01:08] [SPEAKER_00]: But are you lovable?

[00:01:10] [SPEAKER_00]: As you know, humans are inherently social beings.

[00:01:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Our brains are wired to seek connection and love.

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Studies have shown that people who feel loved and connected have lower levels of

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_00]: stress, stronger immune systems, and even longer lifespans.

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, let's start with the basics.

[00:01:29] [SPEAKER_00]: What is love?

[00:01:31] [SPEAKER_00]: This question has puzzled humans since the beginning.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_00]: If you haven't guessed by now, I'm talking about capital L-O-V-E,

[00:01:39] [SPEAKER_00]: non-romantic love, but the powerful force that connects us all,

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_00]: the spirit that is at the core of who we are, love that is, is, okay.

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_00]: I admit, love is not something that can be simply defined.

[00:01:56] [SPEAKER_00]: At its essence, love is indescribable.

[00:01:58] [SPEAKER_00]: But for the sake of this discussion, I will do my best to put words to something

[00:02:03] [SPEAKER_00]: that is not fully encompassed by words.

[00:02:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Love in its purest form is an acknowledgement of another person's intrinsic value.

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_00]: It's the recognition that every individual is worthy of respect,

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_00]: kindness and care simply because they exist.

[00:02:23] [SPEAKER_00]: This universality of love is what makes it so essential.

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Love isn't contingent on a person's achievements, their social status or

[00:02:31] [SPEAKER_00]: their behavior.

[00:02:32] [SPEAKER_00]: It's a fundamental right rooted in our shared humanity.

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_00]: So at the risk of ruining the punchline,

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_00]: you are lovable just because you exist.

[00:02:43] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm gonna say it again for the people in the back.

[00:02:47] [SPEAKER_00]: You are lovable just because you exist.

[00:02:52] [SPEAKER_00]: And there is nothing to do to make yourself more lovable.

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_00]: You already are.

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Do you agree that pure and true love is unconditional?

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_00]: And we should be loved for who we are, not who we could or should be,

[00:03:05] [SPEAKER_00]: what we do or what we can offer to others.

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_00]: This goes for our interactions with family members, friends, co-workers,

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_00]: strangers who cross our paths and yes, romantic partners.

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_00]: We need to create a society where everyone feels accepted and

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_00]: loved for their true selves.

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_00]: If you believe and agree with what I just said,

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_00]: then we also need to address prejudice and discrimination.

[00:03:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Too often people are denied love because they are different,

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_00]: be it their ethnicity, their gender, how they identify or

[00:03:38] [SPEAKER_00]: whom they choose to love.

[00:03:40] [SPEAKER_00]: This not only is unfair, but it goes against the very essence of love,

[00:03:46] [SPEAKER_00]: which is grounded in acceptance and in cherishing someone for who they are.

[00:03:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Which includes their unique viewpoints and perspectives,

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_00]: their quirks and their idiosyncrasies.

[00:03:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Love knows no boundaries and has no limits.

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_00]: It is blind to differences and embraces diversity.

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_00]: No one should ever be denied love.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_00]: No one should ever be denied love.

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, let's talk about self-love.

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_00]: How many times have we heard that you can't love someone else if you

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_00]: don't love yourself?

[00:04:20] [SPEAKER_00]: While this may hold some truth, it also implies that people who struggle with

[00:04:26] [SPEAKER_00]: self-love are undeserving of love from others.

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_00]: This couldn't be further from the truth.

[00:04:31] [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, those who struggle with self-love are often the ones who need

[00:04:35] [SPEAKER_00]: love the most.

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_00]: They need someone to show them that they are worthy of love and

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_00]: that they are lovable just the way they are.

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Is this you?

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_00]: You're lovable.

[00:04:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Share that with someone else.

[00:04:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Learning to love ourselves and then extending that love to others is a

[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_00]: journey.

[00:04:53] [SPEAKER_00]: And it's not always easy.

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_00]: We all have our insecurities and flaws, and we sometimes project our

[00:05:00] [SPEAKER_00]: insecurities about ourselves into others.

[00:05:02] [SPEAKER_00]: But that doesn't mean we are not deserving of love.

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_00]: We need to learn to be compassionate and kind to ourselves and to forgive

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_00]: ourselves for our mistakes and our shortcomings.

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_00]: This helps us to be compassionate and kind to others and to forgive them for

[00:05:19] [SPEAKER_00]: their mistakes and for their shortcomings.

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_00]: By doing so, we open ourselves up to receiving and giving love to ourselves

[00:05:27] [SPEAKER_00]: first and then to others.

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_00]: That order is important.

[00:05:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, let's discuss the importance of actively giving and receiving love.

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Love is not just a feeling.

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_00]: It is mostly an action.

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_00]: We need to be intentional in showing love to our fellow humans, whether it

[00:05:44] [SPEAKER_00]: be through small acts of kindness or grand gestures, a smile, a warm greeting,

[00:05:49] [SPEAKER_00]: letting someone in front of you in line, listening without interrupting.

[00:05:53] [SPEAKER_00]: We also need to be open to receiving love from others.

[00:05:57] [SPEAKER_00]: We are often afraid to let our guard down and allow ourselves to be

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_00]: vulnerable.

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_00]: But that's where the magic of love happens.

[00:06:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Loving others is more than an act of kindness.

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_00]: It's a way to make the world a better place.

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Every person deserves to be treated with respect and care, regardless of their

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_00]: actions or circumstances.

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_00]: By loving others, we affirm their humanity and our own.

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_00]: I remember a few years back, I took my daughter and my nephew to one of

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_00]: those theme parks with the characters and the castles.

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_00]: You know which one.

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_00]: We were tired of the long lines for the rides, and so we decided to take a

[00:06:43] [SPEAKER_00]: break and get some lunch.

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_00]: As we were waiting for our food, a person was cleaning up around us.

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_00]: And I spoke to them and started asking them about their day.

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_00]: And I didn't think anything of it because I usually try to connect with

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_00]: people.

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_00]: I've never been someone who treats a person with a title that society

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_00]: deems respectable differently than anyone else.

[00:07:06] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't believe that one person deserves more respect or admiration because they

[00:07:11] [SPEAKER_00]: have more money, more education, a title, a bigger house, or because they're

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_00]: famous.

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Everyone deserves to be treated the same.

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_00]: So my nephew, a teenager, says, I see you treating the cleaning crew just as

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_00]: you would treat the CEO.

[00:07:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Now, I don't know if that person was annoyed by me striking up a random

[00:07:32] [SPEAKER_00]: conversation with them and all they wanted to do was their job and be

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_00]: left alone or if they were happy that someone acknowledged them because they

[00:07:41] [SPEAKER_00]: were usually ignored.

[00:07:42] [SPEAKER_00]: What I do know is I unintentionally taught my nephew a lesson about love.

[00:07:50] [SPEAKER_00]: This perspective challenges us to extend our love beyond our immediate

[00:07:54] [SPEAKER_00]: circles.

[00:07:55] [SPEAKER_00]: It caused us to love those who are different from us, those who have heard

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_00]: us and even those who may seem unlovable.

[00:08:03] [SPEAKER_00]: This also includes our unhoused brothers and sisters.

[00:08:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Even if you don't have anything to give them or share with them, give them a

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_00]: smile, eye contact, or just acknowledging their humanity is a great

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_00]: start.

[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_00]: We're all unique individuals and our worth is not defined by external

[00:08:21] [SPEAKER_00]: factors.

[00:08:21] [SPEAKER_00]: We should not have to change ourselves to be loved by others or to fit into

[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_00]: society's narrow view of love.

[00:08:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Resilience.

[00:08:31] [SPEAKER_00]: It's your turn to take action.

[00:08:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I offer a friendly challenge.

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Let's spread love in all its forms and make this world a more lovable and

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_00]: compassionate place for everyone.

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_00]: As you go about your day, be aware of times you can be loving towards

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00]: your fellow humans.

[00:08:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, even the ones who annoy you.

[00:08:53] [SPEAKER_00]: You never know how impactful something as small as a kind smile can be.

[00:08:57] [SPEAKER_00]: So resilience.

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Let's recap.

[00:09:00] [SPEAKER_00]: I firmly believe that every single human being, regardless of their past or

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_00]: present circumstances, deserves love.

[00:09:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Love isn't a privilege.

[00:09:11] [SPEAKER_00]: It's a right.

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_00]: It's what makes us human, what connects us all.

[00:09:16] [SPEAKER_00]: So let's try to love more openly, more generously and more unconditionally.

[00:09:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Resilience.

[00:09:24] [SPEAKER_00]: That's it for today's episode.

[00:09:26] [SPEAKER_00]: I hope you found inspiration, actionable insights to help you navigate your path

[00:09:31] [SPEAKER_00]: to living your best life.

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_00]: If so, like, subscribe and share with someone who could use a little boost

[00:09:38] [SPEAKER_00]: of resilience and I'll see you on the next episode.

[00:09:41] [SPEAKER_00]: This episode gave you some tools to connect with and increase your resiliency.

[00:09:46] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm proud of you.

[00:09:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Let's keep up the momentum.

[00:09:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Follow Resilient Life on your favorite podcast platform and on YouTube

[00:09:53] [SPEAKER_00]: at Resilient Life Podcast.

[00:09:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Until next time, be kind to yourself and others.