Transform Your Life & Build A Stronger Mindset

[00:00:00] You are listening to Resilient Life, the podcast where we explore the power of resiliency.

[00:00:10] I'm Nikita Ross.

[00:00:12] It is my hope that listeners such as podcasts will give you the tools to connect with and

[00:00:18] increase your resiliency.

[00:00:20] So join me on this adventure of self-discovery and self-love.

[00:00:32] For joining us for this episode of Resilient Life, throughout these previous episodes

[00:00:38] it has been so enlightening and so educating and so amazing to speak with individuals as

[00:00:47] they shared what resiliency means to them and how resilience has shown up in their lives.

[00:00:52] It has also given me a great opportunity to grow in my sense of resiliency, my definition

[00:01:00] of resiliency.

[00:01:01] I have been teaching it for so long.

[00:01:03] It was just like a really good perspective and I since created a tool for those who want

[00:01:11] to work either alone or in like a book club or a study group to increase their resiliency.

[00:01:23] And the workbook that I created is actually called Resilient Life and we also have it in

[00:01:33] Spanish.

[00:01:34] I want to just talk a little bit about the workbook and the contents of it.

[00:01:42] So it's a very, very interactive workbook where each activity can help you increase your

[00:01:52] resiliency in different areas of your life.

[00:01:56] So self-esteem, goal setting, building a stronger support network and we're focusing on one

[00:02:03] of the activities today which is the cards activity but the workbook itself has as I stated earlier

[00:02:09] several several several activities.

[00:02:13] They're all interactive and for every activity there's a description on how to engage with

[00:02:22] the activities instructions on what you do with that activity, the purpose for the activity

[00:02:28] and how it would benefit you.

[00:02:30] Each of the activities has that and as we go through the book in future episodes, we'll

[00:02:38] go into more detail.

[00:02:39] And this deck of cards gives you a chance to identify, connect with, express and resolve

[00:02:48] your feelings.

[00:02:49] I feel like there's so many of us who don't always have the wherewithal skill set, the tools

[00:03:01] to always grasp the emotion that we're feeling to identify the emotion that we're feeling

[00:03:08] and I feel like these cards are just so helpful in that way.

[00:03:13] I've used these cards years, I don't have I'm not counted but it's over three years

[00:03:20] that I've been using these cards and they always get such a wonderful reception.

[00:03:27] People are like hey when I come back for another workshop they're like hey did you bring

[00:03:30] the cards?

[00:03:31] What I really like about these cards is it allows you to be vulnerable if you need to

[00:03:37] privately.

[00:03:38] It's not something that you have to share with a partner or a friend or whomever, this

[00:03:45] is something that you can do by yourself.

[00:03:48] It is fun to do it with others but these cards can be stand along just one day you're waking

[00:03:56] up and you're like I have feelings.

[00:03:59] I can't always identify at this moment I can identify what the feeling is but there's

[00:04:04] something in there and I've done this myself.

[00:04:08] I've actually gone through the cards and it's helped me like oh one two three and I've

[00:04:11] ended up with like six cards and I'm like I'm feeling this and I'm feeling this and I'm

[00:04:15] feeling this.

[00:04:16] And another great thing about the cards is it allows you to remember that we are very

[00:04:25] complex creatures.

[00:04:27] We are allowed and oftentimes we do experience multiple emotions simultaneously.

[00:04:36] So for the longest time I felt like if I'm feeling anger that could be the only emotion

[00:04:44] because I wasn't taught that several emotions can exist within this complex body at one

[00:04:51] time and so it wasn't until I started working with these cards that I realized that I can

[00:04:57] be angry.

[00:04:59] I can be frustrated, I can be sad, I can be scared, I can be hopeful as well.

[00:05:07] That's one of the main things I've seen with working with individuals to increase the

[00:05:13] reason and see utilizing these cards is that light bulb that goes off when people are

[00:05:19] recognizing like oh, why not have multiple feelings to sometimes these feelings aren't

[00:05:27] all in the same category.

[00:05:29] So we wouldn't necessarily think that if I'm feeling angry, I'm also feeling hopeful.

[00:05:34] And so like there's this specialness for lack of a better word, the word comes from you

[00:05:41] later, but there's this specialness about being able to connect with, identify, connect

[00:05:49] with, sit with process and resolve these emotions.

[00:05:54] Which is hard to do if we don't have the words for them.

[00:05:58] We didn't realize that we can have multiple at once.

[00:06:02] And so this is one of my favorite things about this particular activity in the workbook.

[00:06:10] As I said, there are others and on different days we'll go through the other workshops.

[00:06:16] But for this particular episode, I just wanted to dive deep into that one.

[00:06:25] The goal as I stated earlier is to just go through the cards and find the emotion that you're

[00:06:34] feeling in that moment.

[00:06:36] And card or cards.

[00:06:39] It could be several as I told you earlier, I had six one time.

[00:06:43] And then so that's the first step I've identified this emotion and then the second step is,

[00:06:50] okay, let me connect with that emotion.

[00:06:53] Why am I feeling sarcastic?

[00:06:56] How long have I been feeling sarcastic?

[00:06:57] Is there something that led to me feeling sarcastic?

[00:07:01] Why am I so focused on my overly focused?

[00:07:05] How long have I been focused?

[00:07:07] Is it causing any kind of problems in my life?

[00:07:10] Why am I feeling so powerful?

[00:07:12] How long have I been feeling powerful?

[00:07:16] What caused me to feel powerful?

[00:07:18] How do I tap into that again in the future?

[00:07:22] That led to this feeling of powerfulness, so that when I need to get back to this feeling

[00:07:27] of powerfulness, I can do that.

[00:07:32] That's another example.

[00:07:33] Why am I feeling negative?

[00:07:35] Does something happen?

[00:07:37] Are my thoughts getting away from me again?

[00:07:41] How long have I been feeling negative when I first recognize it?

[00:07:44] And you may not know how long you've been feeling any emotion, so you may not be able to say,

[00:07:52] I've been feeling this since last week at 6 a.m.

[00:07:56] Not that specific and how long you've been feeling it, but has it been a day, two days,

[00:08:00] a couple of hours just today when you woke up starting last night?

[00:08:05] Because it also helps us connect with something that could have triggered it.

[00:08:09] So if it was last night, oh yeah, remember I was at the grocery store and this human was

[00:08:17] root to me or this human bumped into me and didn't say excuse me.

[00:08:23] Or I feel amazing because this human paid for my groceries or this human complimented

[00:08:30] me.

[00:08:31] And so that's good.

[00:08:32] So when we identified the emotions and then two were like, okay, when did it start?

[00:08:36] And then how long have I been feeling like this?

[00:08:39] And then what do I want to do with this emotion?

[00:08:42] If I'm feeling irritated as an example, I'm feeling irritated for all week.

[00:08:50] Everything has been irritating me.

[00:08:52] Why?

[00:08:53] I don't know.

[00:08:54] I just feel irritated.

[00:08:55] And that's okay to not know.

[00:08:57] Immediately.

[00:08:59] Sometimes it comes to us later.

[00:09:01] Sometimes it never comes.

[00:09:02] I think one of the biggest things is to recognize that emotion.

[00:09:06] So I'm feeling irritated all week.

[00:09:09] Every time someone looks at me, I'm irritated and they say, okay, why?

[00:09:14] And that allows us to start to connect with ourselves, connect with our emotions.

[00:09:19] And I believe personally through teaching, walking alongside people, educating people

[00:09:24] on how to increase their resiliency.

[00:09:26] But that's so important because ultimately if we fully understand, we are the ones responsible

[00:09:33] for our emotions.

[00:09:35] Are you feeling bottled up?

[00:09:38] I've been feeling bottled up.

[00:09:40] I didn't realize I was feeling bottled up but I recognize now I haven't been able to

[00:09:46] share this feeling, this thought that I have with my partner and I'm stuffing it down

[00:09:53] and I didn't realize it or I'm saying it's fine, everything's fine.

[00:09:57] And so I'm feeling bottled up and it doesn't feel good.

[00:10:02] And so it's so important for us to do that because it allows us to, as I said, identify

[00:10:07] connect with, work through and then release the emotions.

[00:10:12] And it's hard to do that if we're not taking those steps.

[00:10:17] It's hard to release it if we're not taking those steps.

[00:10:20] And then of course there's actually two cards that are blank because one or two reasons,

[00:10:26] one sometimes we feel blank.

[00:10:28] I feel nothing.

[00:10:31] I don't know if you've ever been that way, the numbing feeling and I have but if you haven't

[00:10:40] so grateful that you haven't, it's not a great feeling.

[00:10:44] So one or two, I feel nothing.

[00:10:46] I'm numb or the word or the feeling that I'm having is not in this deck of 60 emotions.

[00:10:56] And so we can go to this card in that place and just have this and sometimes it's a good

[00:11:03] thing to help us say, I don't know what I feel.

[00:11:08] And I noticed in years of like utilizing these cards with people that this has been a

[00:11:15] go to card in the very beginning when people are first learning to identify, connect with

[00:11:21] and work through process the emotions.

[00:11:23] It's kind of like I don't know the emotion.

[00:11:26] I feel nothing.

[00:11:28] But then as we progress, we're usually able to go through one of the 60.

[00:11:35] I would say if I were to do this exercise right now with you all being vulnerable and open,

[00:11:45] so don't judge me.

[00:11:46] I would say that I'm feeling radiant.

[00:11:48] I actually had a really good day today.

[00:11:52] I had my doctor's appointment and I got a clean bill of health as the expression goes

[00:12:01] and so I'm super happy about that.

[00:12:04] And I just, I'm going to get placed in my life, meaning all my needs are met.

[00:12:11] Most of my wants are taken care of.

[00:12:14] There were a few we can always want from more right?

[00:12:17] And so most of my wants are taken care of and so I'm grateful.

[00:12:20] And so a card one of the emotions that I would choose today would be radiant.

[00:12:25] And that is also the exercise is I didn't go through each step and say how long have

[00:12:30] I been feeling this way?

[00:12:31] I did, I did it so smoothly.

[00:12:33] I said today because I had a good bill of health.

[00:12:36] I said why I said how long I connected with that emotion and I know that how to get back

[00:12:44] to it if I need to that feeling of radiant is getting good news.

[00:12:48] And so I really love these cards.

[00:12:50] I've been working with individuals and these cards every time I do a resilience workshop.

[00:12:57] These cards come out.

[00:12:59] And as I said, they are so well received.

[00:13:01] Of course, they're in Spanish.

[00:13:04] So there are 60 that are in Spanish as well.

[00:13:08] Just same words, exact same feelings just in Spanish.

[00:13:14] I work with a lot of bilingual individuals and we want our work to be accessible.

[00:13:23] And I don't want any barriers to helping people in Christian is a great time for you

[00:13:28] to purchase your research based trauma informed copy written resilience cards.

[00:13:35] As I said, I've been studying resiliency for over a decade and collecting data as we

[00:13:41] want along to make sure that we are actually increasing people's resiliency.

[00:13:47] So each of these cards this whole deck in English has been copyrighted in this research

[00:13:53] based and trauma informed as well as the Spanish version.

[00:13:58] We have it in both languages because Spanish has been the most requested language.

[00:14:06] And when I've worked alongside people to increase their resiliency, it has either been

[00:14:11] people who are native English speakers or people who are bilingual or people who are monolingual

[00:14:17] in Spanish.

[00:14:19] And so that has been the demand for this cards to be translated into Spanish.

[00:14:27] And these are also copyrighted, of course.

[00:14:30] They're duplicates of the English version so they are also research based and trauma informed.

[00:14:36] It is so great to have these.

[00:14:39] And as demand grows, we will release additional versions and other languages.

[00:14:46] As for now the two languages, we have them available or English in Spanish.

[00:14:52] And so in support of individuals working to increase their resiliency and one of the ways

[00:14:59] to do that is by identifying, connecting with processing and eventually releasing emotions

[00:15:08] and I feel like one of the best ways to do that is by getting these cards that help you

[00:15:15] when you're thinking about what am I feeling?

[00:15:18] I don't know when I'm feeling.

[00:15:20] So if you're interested in increasing your resiliency and you want this tool, this just

[00:15:25] like invaluable tool that can help you, it's very discreet.

[00:15:29] They fit into the palm of your hand.

[00:15:31] They don't take up much space.

[00:15:33] You can just have them in your drawer somewhere or in a corner of your desk.

[00:15:37] It helps work frustrated with the co-workers of the boss and just pull out these cards.

[00:15:41] And it's actually a good time to like just center ourselves and ground ourselves.

[00:15:47] These cards are so beneficial.

[00:15:49] That's not me bragging on my own work.

[00:15:51] I have been told countless times by so many different individuals that these cards are

[00:15:59] just so helpful, so wonderful.

[00:16:05] Thanks for watching.

[00:16:06] That episode gave you some tools to connect with and increase your resiliency.

[00:16:11] I'm proud of you.

[00:16:13] Let's keep up the momentum.

[00:16:14] Follow Resilient Life on your favorite podcast platform and on YouTube at Resilient Life

[00:16:20] Podcast.

[00:16:21] Until next time, be clear to yourself and others.